既来之，则安之

我差点忘了在几个星期前

友人对我说过这句话

既然没有头绪，也没有妨碍到自己

那就随它吧随它则来，随它则去

既来之，则安之

懂了

Leave

Why do you want to let her go?

When you know she won't be happier for your leaving.

我喜欢，不，我爱

对着空白的纸，拿起熟悉的笔

想要抒发一些情绪，表达一些思绪

原本想画些什么；想写些什么

拿着笔，却无从下手

最后还是把笔给放下了

连续两天梦见了你

是因为一直想你的关系吗？

没有写

一点也没有写

所有的情绪思绪感觉都没有抒发出来

只在心中留了几个字

“我都记得”

那是多么深刻

如此难忘

难以忘怀的情节

两个人的咖啡

最终

“喜欢的还是你”

“不”

“是爱？”

Abang and Adik

传说中的… 

Abang and Adik 

My Year 2

It is abit late to talk about this, but I'm still insist to write about this after one week. Here I ended my second year of undergraduate studies. The feelings is like, "ah.. finally~"; but at the same time, I couldn't believe that two years of the degree course is over-ed! It is just in a blink of eye! I'm so grateful and thankful. To certain extent, I feel proud. The one who are reading this might think that there is nothing to proud of. Indeed, it might just like a simple and normal process that every uni students will go through. However, I'm proud of myself not simply because I've completed my year 2 subjects; instead, I'm proud of knowledge and everything that I've learnt throughout the year. Or maybe because I am satisfy with my own attitude towards studies for last semester? Hehehe!

One thought that come into my mind after the finals: Studying is hard. No? But for me, it is. At least, it is not easy.

-"Once you put a lot of efforts on something (studies), you will realize it is never easy. But it can be easily done once you've mastered it. There is when you feel the joy and satisfaction; which you(I) hope to achieve."-

No more weekly quiz.. hoho! People who know me actually know how this quizzes stress me throughout the semester. Although it is just quizzes, yet, I get nervous everytime. Can you guess the consequences? Once I'm nervous and scare, things go worse. I can't think of the answer, then start blaming on myself. And it ruins my mood. The cycle goes on and on. huuu... But thanks to the quizzes. I'm able to see my weaknesses and get to improve gradually. Eventually.

-"Seeing errors and weaknesses are not enough. The challenge is how to get it right."-

It has been a tough year for me. The toughest year. I would say. I failed myself in life, almost giving up on myself. I felt sick. Mentally and physically. I spent long time on coping and reconstruct myself throughout the year, and I'm still rebuild myself now.

I'm glad that I'm no longer need this med to help me in recovery

I wouldn't say the incidents that I've gone through are very intense and stressful. Everyone has their own definition of stress. But these incidents caused me to feel stressful and have huge impacts on me. I've learnt that there's no such categorization of "big issue" or "small issue" in resolving struggles in life. As long as it disrupted and affected your life, then it is important. and it needs to be solved.

-"There is no "big" or "small" issue. As long as it affects you, it's important and needs to be resolved."-

Experiencing these events are torturing. Seriously. But it actually makes me grow. I learn a lot from everything that I've gone through and everyone that I meet this year.

Everything past and I'm free. It's coming to the end. Does the wound still bleeding and painful? No. It's no longer bleeding. Painful? Yes, a little bit, and it left a scar on my skin. But what can I do? Life goes on. =)

-"Scar does not need to be visible to feel the pain. Stories behind the scar could be painful. But it is also memorable."

你还喜欢他吗？

今天和朋友聊起天

听他说说他最近的故事

我很用心聆听，很努力尝试明白

过程大约花了一个小时多… 他说，我听。不明白的地方，我问，他答。这样的轮回来来去去了好几回。

结束一切之前，我问了他一句：

“这一切的发生，到你经历了那总总地一切，那你还喜欢他吗？”

他简单地回答我：

“喜欢啊！但，我不可以。”

结果我们都笑笑。买了单，结束了对话。

-一个单纯的恋情。简单的相爱，却不能相恋。是这样的吗？-

-可惜的事，在这样的前提下，都不再单纯和简单。不是这样吗？-

-祝福你们-

-继续往前走-

 =) 

Focus to be a more confident person

Hey, please to be a more confident person. Remind yourself that you're actually doing what you should do, and what you need to do. You're doing it pretty well. Stop frightening yourself with the negative consequences and outcomes on unpredictable situations. You work hard on it, and you will get the return. Stop pushing yourself so hard to the extent where you hardly breath. 

Focus on what you should and what you need. Focus on things that you can do to make a change. You role your life. How do you think actually affect how do you react and behave. It's all about thoughts and belief. Focus on the right thing and believe yourself that you can always do it. Shape it, slowly.  

You're just you. You'll reach there one day. Learn from mistake, never repeat it again. Stay calm. To be a more confident, smarter and better person in life. Because you have long way to go.