Today my life begins

I remember this song was recommended by one of my friend, who doesn't always show up in my daily life, but will definitely show up when he found out that I'm facing some difficulties in my life. He is someone whom I don't need to worry, but knowing his is there to give me some thoughtful insights or suggestions when I need it.

Been facing lots of challenges and difficulties in the past few years. It was one of the most difficult time I've gone through. I couldn't express myself. End up keeping everything with myself. Knowing there're people there and willing to help me out, but I just refused and keep myself away from the hands out there.

I used to be someone like that. Yes, I am.

This song really helps in healing the wound. Even now. I feel so uneasy and worried sometimes. This happened when I entered a new chapter of my life journey. Been stepping into the so called reality world for two months, exactly two months. There're lots of adjustments in my living style.

Learning process has never end. I keep adjust and adapt into the environment, with a strong yet raw heart.

Sometimes I think about the old time.. Thinking about the up and down in the past. I realised the so called 'hardest time' I've been through is just a small challenges. It wasn't as tough as I thought - as I grew and become better from what I've gone through in the past.

Thanks to close deadline set and the different lecturers I've met - I'm able to work so independently and become so result driven in my career development now.
Thanks to the educations given by my parents - I'm able to manage myself and be discipline in every new setting where the superiors valued.
Thanks to the ruthless rejections and objections voice from anybody else - I'm able to become stronger and more individualistic, as to prepare myself to the reality world.
Thanks to the hard time and - I'm able to understand the meaning behind every up and down, and get to become a better person in my life.

Things happened for a reason. I believe.
No matter what happen, there're ways to tackle it.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 

I will break the chains that blind me

and 

Today My Life Begins.

Thank you the one who recommended this song to me. 

It heals mentally and psychologically sick  people.

"You can count on me like one, two, three

I'll be there

And I know when I need it

I can count on you like four, three, two

And you'll be there

'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah"

................

Spring

Have been wanting to post up some thoughts or reflections that I've been experienced lately.

I wrote something, but yet to be completed.

So I just keep it as a draft.

As usual.

And FB reminds me of the start of the spring.

I've fond of things that represent 'new' or 'beginning'.

For instance, first day of the month, first day of the week.

Same goes to the first day of spring. 

Yey..

(Although there're no four seasons in Malaysia, 

But knowing it is the first day of spring still make my day happy and cheerful.)

Been telling myself that I need time to figure out and been allowing myself to practice try and error in the past few months.

It is more than enough.

I guess.

Shouldn't give myself so much excuses.

I believe that nobody understand you better than yourself.

If you don't know about yourself,

how can you expect people to understand you and live up to your expectation?

So once I've decided and found my way, I should go.

Too much hesitation would ruin my progress and probably end up with nothing.

It could go worse.

Get a new start from today.. 

Keep moving on..

···Persistence  ···Perseverance  ···Consistence

She says.

I know my way.

I know my direction.

I have the answer.

Hence I shall move on.

Update

Been going through my life adjustment and trying to adapt into a new environment and culture for the past one month. My life doesn't seem to be a mess, but it is definitely not the life I've been encountered in my past 20 years.

Sometimes, I spend the time thinking about my current daily routine. I'm glad that I've been selected and placed in this position. I've been given a lot of freedom and courage in doing the assignments that I need to be done, I should be appreciate because not everybody there has this kind of opportunity. Meanwhile, I also been given numbers of opportunities, which directly / indirectly beneficial to my self-development.

I wasn't been bombarded with questions about life after graduation. But I did think about it most of the time, and slowly, people around are asking me about that. To be frank, I think I'm not well-prepared yet. I'm still wandering, just like travelling without any direction. This is what I think I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be not knowing what I want to do; what I need to do; and what is my ultimate goal. If you don't even know what you want and what you actually looking for in life, that must be ridiculous. Seriously.

But do I really travelling aimlessly in the life journey? I think deeply.
No. I'm not. I know what I want and what I'll be doing ultimately, and I have the faith that I'll achieve it. But why am I still wandering and being so uncomfortable as like I'm lack of confident? 

Am I?
Am I wandering because I'm seeking for approval - to build up the close relationship to gain my sense of security?
Am I feeling that way because of I'm lack of structured plan - to seek for accurate and measurable plan to gain my sense of security?
Am I feeling lost and uncomfortable because of the uncertainty - am looking for the productivity result to gain my sense of security?


There's something I need to be aware, I guess.

Nobody else knows us better than ourselves. I'm pretty sure about my role and my direction. Despite of the external factors, like seeking for approval and recognition, I shouldn't deny doubt my inner voice. I shall spend time listen on it. Because that's the inner part of myself.

Keep it  up.

一直都很喜欢光良的歌。我相信他的歌曲应该陪过很多80和90后无数个黑夜白昼。

虽然他的歌很容易入耳，同时也很容易听腻。但是厌倦之后，过了一段日子再听回去，又是别一番滋味。而且还会有许多回忆涌上心头。

对我来说，光良就是有种那样的磁性。那并不是每个歌手都有的吸引力。

有些人会觉得他的歌曲总是很相似。那种旋律，那种节奏，那种，光良类型的歌曲。或许有些人会觉得他的演义没有什么突破，但我想、那就是他的个人品牌，他的个人卖点。

撇开曲风，我还是很喜欢他。他就是有一副没有什么表情的样子；在他身上却能感受到一种情感。一种，不是每个人都能散发的情感。

再多日子以后，我又听回这首歌。又让我想起上一次唱这首歌的时候… 那一次，不经意地就唱得掉眼泪。

是，每一个完成或未完成的事情，都会让我们成长。如果不是你，我不会曾如此伤心；现在的我也不会更懂得爱惜生活自我成长。

虽然前一段的日子总有点灰，但最终我明白，那是让我成为更好的自己的一堂课。我们都一起成长了。不是吗？虽然我还很努力地长大，每当想起你还是会不离不弃；但我也清楚明白，我们都需要一直往前进。在如此漫长的马拉松里，从我们相遇相识相见相离；最后，我想我们又在不同的地点相遇了。真是缘分？还是巧遇？

感谢我的生命里有你；感谢你曾给我的真心。让我们彼此做一个更好的自己吧。路还很长，让我们勇敢前行吧。

我不晓得你是否还会像我如此眷恋；也不知道另一个你会变得怎样；更不知道你会怎么看我。但都已经无所谓了。当所有都看开，都放下，其实，真正需要放下的，是自己。摊开胸膛，呼吸，接受，吸收，成长。

Add caption

已经很久没有驾车了

 已经很久没有驾车了

这一个月以来，这是我驾过最长远的距离。应该吧。

当我开车那一刻，就传来那一把熟悉的声音。是，我习惯驾车听电台。因为我知道，早上的节目可以让我吸收很多资讯。而我却很想像鲁豫那样，做一个每天需要吸收很多资讯的人。而这一个月以来，我知道，我已经很久没有听电台了。

不知不觉，已经一个月了。日子过得如何，还好吗？

其实，我不太懂得回答。

Thank you my friend for the kind words

Initially would like to share it on Facebook as the message actually makes me laugh after a long day. But end up I didn't because I thought there's no much people would like to know what my friend told me and no much people would interested in the conversation between my friend and I. 

Still, I mentioned it here as to update my blog. Haha! This is abit realistic, but yes, this is one of the happy memories created after I stepped into "the university of reality". 

Sometimes, good words make people happy. So why not practice it in life? ;) 

Of course, not too over as it might brought a fake feelings to people. In fact, everything needs to come from the deep heart. The sincerity. 

今天又看到很美丽的画面

一个年纪较大的婆婆走进火车，还拉着小车子，装着报纸等杂物

一个上班族姐姐站了起来，拍拍Aunty 的肩旁：“Aunty, 你坐这边”

每次步行都让我有所领悟。有些画面太漂亮。使我恨不得把当下给纪录下来。只可惜我只能用脑袋的能力，把它都储存在记忆里。

但愿每一天步行，我都可以看到不懂的画面。有一天，我的生活会因为这些生活小事物而变得更有画面。

每一次步行，都让我看见些什么… 就像搭火车的外国人，我每次见到他都会对他微笑，他既如此。那一种陌生人的对望微笑，足以让我心情开朗。生活，并没有看起来的严苛，事实上，生活还是有一丁点近人情的。

每一次步行，我都想感觉到了什么… 就像今天步行回家，路途经过一群人在路边伴奏音乐，有的唱歌有的玩乐器。赶时间的我快速把眼神投入那群人里。嗯，他们多半是有残缺美的队伍；却唱着很轻快，甜蜜的歌曲，甜滋滋的，暖了我的心。