心脏&肛门

我没有想过男人女人可以被比喻成心脏和肛门

老师，你好强！
XD

No longer the right person

Everytime after an event (held by uni mates or friends), my facebook will be fulled of their pictures and long post status regarding to their experiences and feelings throughout the preparing days until the end of the event.

It's a life experiential, no doubt. But I didn't have much of this experiences. I know it's great, and it probably causes someone addicted into organizing more and more events in the future. Easily explained, the sense of acknowledgment and satisfaction. It's not limited to that, it helps most people fulfil the needs in various aspects. 

On one hand, I heard people complaining about working in the team; on the other hand, I heard people enjoying commit themselves in the project. 

Isn't the teamwork production fun and memorable? 

Yea, why not. Especially when you like it. I mean the event itself. 

Even if you really dislike it, you probably would have learnt something. 

Knowing it's fun wouldn't stop someone from joining; but the capability and the context would. 

I'm No longer the right person in the platform.

-you're no longer the right person-

I hope not

Let me fly

Pls angel. 

(Assertive voice)

Being negative to say

I'll be gone. Not long to go.

As you wished.

I'm tiring.

(Despair)

Shall believe the sayings:

There's the best arrangement.

The negativity shouldn't stay long-

Why you never try to understand-?

And always believe it's the best for me

When you see me from your eyes;

And not my heart

Hidden meaning. 话中有话.

Hard to grab it. 

近期，启发——1

你知道吗？

我才发现，最遥不可及的

是拒绝沟通

一直惨败的

是拒绝向前

一直迷茫的
是觉得“我做的都是为你好”

一直排斥的（磁铁）
是没有转身的勇气

惨了

还是依旧眷恋

很多人一直做了很多事情，总是觉得结果不到位。

——“原来，还是很爱你。” ——

原来，是不是，还是没学会，好好爱自己？

——致自己、我最亲爱的朋友、还有让你觉得文字在与你对话的你——

自己的路，自己走

往往在生命里告诉你应该怎么做怎么做的人

都不会对你的生活负责

不是吗？

;) 

Balance between positive & negative

是我们身边太多负面能量吗？

每次看见很多人总在emo般

有时弄得自己也有点太负面

没有办法，

Law of attraction states,

Opposite attract.

一个充满负能量的人，

总会遇到一个拥有正能量的人

这样，

这个世界，

就会比较balance一些

There is no such thing as good or bad and positive or negative, perhaps.

Everything is just a choice. 

You choose to be happy, or either, keep yourself away from it.

Choice, you choose the choice. 

18/8/2014

Meeting

In year 3, I truly believe I met good lecturers here. I'm glad to be here now. 

真的。我有很多非常眷顾我的老师。

Lots of people have been complaining about the school, including me. But in terms of the quality of education, I've faith on the lecturers. They are so helpful to their students most of the time. I'm glad, and been so proud to be their students in my undergraduate studies. 

可我不晓得这是否只是发生在教育的职场上。

I believe there're always critical comments around when human's needs are not met and satisfied. I've seen people overly criticize their school's policy and educating systems. Without giving any face!! Cannot deny, it's hard to satisfy everybody's needs. But there must be something good, something you've been enjoying there. 

事实上，除了教育界，

在人生的道路上，我也遇到了许多生命的导师。

Because of them, I build my trust that I've lost along the journey in the past. 

我知道这个生活不容易，总是参杂着许多挑战和苦涩。任凭世界多么雄伟，即使人类多么平凡，还是要有迈向曙光的勇气。

只是这样强烈的担忧，我会有点累。

但还好，我想我还有努力的毅力。

我知道这个生活不简单，总是参杂着黑暗和诱惑。任凭世界有再多的树敌和不测，我会尝试把他它都当成成长的机会。

我会。

我要记得这时刻，我很累、担心、有点无助，但我有毅力前行。我有。毅力前行。

Against the wind

I received a text from my friend talking about writing thesis. Reply from the supervisor makes my friend fed up and down. 

At night, I called my friend and we had a talk. We discussed things regarding to thesis and studies. Seems like that's the topic that we used to discuss.  

My friend told me about the reply from supervisor via email. 

After that, I sent my friend this picture as I found the quotation is motivating. We always learn from things that have been against us all the time. After all, we, like the aeroplane, takes off against the wind, fly in the skies at a high speed and we'll reach the destination. 

I have my worries too. I'm worrying I might not able to give the quality work that my supervisor expected from her supervisees. Hahha.. It's ok and alright, I told myself as comfort. 

Seeing the issue that my friend faced worried me about my studies as well. =\ It's ok and alright, I comfort myself again. Haha! I've been so optimistic and open minded once awhile. 

I'll do my best and prepare the best for the coming challenges. =) continue with it. Thesis Mood, continue, ON. 

Home For Special People

弟弟，我告诉你，你就像是黑夜中的繁星

闪烁着，发光，发明

I went to a Special Kids home yesterday. I didn't know there's a home for special person near my housing area. In fact, it is located a Taman before reaching my residence area. I will never never know until I followed some of the auties and uncles (my mum's friends) to pay a visit.

I've never encounter special kids like them. This is my first time.

One of the kids welcomed me by holding my hand. She couldn't talk, and she used some gestures to tell me what she wants me to do. She pointed at the gate, and I got it. I helped her to close the gate, and she continued to pointed outside, but I never get what she meant anymore.

It has been a challenge for me to communicate with the kids with Down's syndrome, learning disabilities, spastic and maybe slightly hyperactive kids there.

There're around 30 kids there.
I didn't get to talk much with the person in charge, neither the children. Because I don't know how to starts. I looked around and observed the dynamic within the group.

Some of them are quite friendly. They hold people's hand, and they will try to express their thoughts to you.They hardly talk. They rely on hand gestures.

There's a little boy. I'm not sure about his case in details. But he can't talk, the person in charged said. When he smiles, my heart melts. He looks good, and cheerful.

I actually believe that he can learn, in term of speaking and simple knowledge. Maybe he didn't get to expose to the learning environment since young, that's why he doesn't know how to speak now. Person in charge there can't assure if he understands language as well.

He doesn't know how to chew the food. He just swallow when the food goes into his mouth, everytime.

I taught him how to pai pai shou (clap hand), and tried to sing kid song while clapping his hand and my hand. He smiles, keep smiling, cheerfully. Everytime he clapped, I gave him a positive regards and acknowledge his clapping actions. He smiles. He patted the chair beside to indicate that he wanted me to sit beside. He tried to pull the person beside him, but he has weak muscles and stopped by me. End up, he stood up, held my hand and walked around. He went closer to the aunties and uncles, who were talking around. I asked him to show aunties and uncles that he knows how to pai pai shou, and he gave a high 5 to them lightly. I'm proud of him.I believe he understands. His smile let me see the hope and strengths on him. =')

Seems like I can't help much. I hope I can have time and commit in the centre to teach the little boy. I believe he really can do it. I believe every kids can learn.

- I took a nap just now, I dreamt of him.-

He asked me to tell people everything about him, as in he's not doing well, may need assistance from people because he's not a fully functioning person. (Maybe I was trying to find a family or get him a job in the dream). He asked me to tell people honestly about him.

I hesitate and there're some worries on me to him.

Then I said, "Do you know that people may abandon and leave you if people know everything about you?"

He replied: "I think no. Not every can accept me. But people can accept me." —— he said this hardly.

What he meant was: I think no. Not everyone can accept me, but there will be people who can accept me as who I am.

- There're people who reject me and don't accept me; but there will be people who can accept me as who I am even if they knew how poor I am. - 

I hope they will meet a good ad kind hearted person, who can teach them for a long time. Build them up. They are special, just like everyone else.

Didi, Thank you for teaching me this lesson.

I hope, there's one day, when I'm ready and give you what I can.
You live in my heart, now.

Insight gained:

1. - 每次都说多么希望自己可以出国，不管是旅游、探索世界甚至是帮助他人；可是却不知道自己的国家也有这需要帮助的孩童等着援助

:: 如此靠近的需求，却想要走得如此遥远去体会

2. - 宁可花钱买东买西，花钱换娱乐和悠闲；却从未尝试不必花钱的欢乐和用心体会这国度

——很多人可以为很昂贵的物质享受付出；却从来不为免费的人事物付出——

-人-

Insight

最近每碰到的一些小事情都让我有所启发。我需要把他记录下来，成为我的部分记忆。好让自己之后回顾时可以笑自己原来也有如此的启发。
顺便排一排之前的故事，慢慢烙印在这里，成为记忆。

Every single incidents that I experienced these days bring me a thoughtful insight. Gonna write it down (in fact I've already written it in words), and save it as part of my memory here gradually. 

Is this a sign of growing? So thoughtful.

June here will be filled with the thoughts that come into my mind through various experiences that I gained recently. I'll schedule it and let it be part of my written memories here.