................................................................................................Mae Ching......................................

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

写给即将告别2014,迎接2015的自己

我又看完一本书了。整个假期里,我不断告诉自己,我要好好规划时间。做些有意义的事,增进自我,充实时间。我还告诉自己,我要好好爱惜自己,不断地成长,而且卓越成长。因为所经历的事,所以我更清楚。

曾经我不太会把时间花在阅读身上;曾经我认为只要有事情做就代表没有浪费时间;曾经我以为努力后要好好给自己来个漫长的休息时间当作奖励;曾经,我盲目憎恨、讨厌及埋怨生活中的不如意,生命中所面对的两难。但渐渐地我不再单纯地阅读、随便地做事、不断地埋怨及持续地负面。我花更多时间在自我调整与思考身上;我读懂故事背后带来的意义和启发;我不但减少实行无味的事,而且我尽自己所能做些帮助他人且能提升自我的事;我不再觉得努力是件应该做的事,而是对自己生活的一种态度;渐渐地我也了解,很多事情或许是种定律。

“经历悲痛,所以知道欢乐的可贵;经历离别,所以珍惜团聚的滋味;经历过快乐,是因为体会过伤心。”

只要懂得生活上存在着这种定律,就不会拒绝继续找寻快乐的踪影;也不会在感受快乐或悲伤的极点时就此停顿。好的不好的都会走的,也会过的。之后,只要有那颗愿意的心,总会好起来的。

“都是成长的机会。”

感谢今年以来自己所面对的周遭事。这些都是让我成长的机会。事后我明白,所有自己经历的伤痛与考验,都是上天给予我成长的机会。

“我会哭,因为我是个有血有泪的人。”

我可以承认自己眼浅,可以承认自己是个爱哭鬼,也可以承认自己难过。感谢每次让我在你面前放肆大哭的你。谢谢你看着我哭,让我感受自己的痛。让我了解:我经历,我学习,我成长,所以我存在。

“能够经历成长,是件幸福的事。”

一夜间,感觉自己长大了。我想,没有什么事能够比成长带来的喜悦更有意义、更有价值。这份厚爱,我很珍惜。它让我明白:我曾经经历,所以我活过。

这年里所看见所感受所面对所经历的,我收在心里。对于这一切的种种,我心怀感激。甚至为此流泪。为过去的自己哭泣;为成长的自己落泪。

“对于一些在我生命中撒下学习与成长的种子的人们,我感激不已。一切,留在心灵深处。”

有些感激,已经转化成一串又一串的泪水。那些感激的泪,会一直寄放在心底某个深处,川流不息。就像一颗种子,被撒在一片宽敞的土地上,开始发芽,逐渐成长。

你的教会,我的领悟,接下来的路,都够用。


最后,我带着自己,跨越2014,迎向2015。

写给即将告别2014,迎接2015的自己。
30/12/2014 04.13am

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

My dream job



My dream job presentation day. I did all the preparation in rush. I actually wasn't  well prepared for the presentation. I couldn't speak fluently (used to be not speak fluently all the time anyway) and not explain everything in details. But surprisingly I got good feedbacks from my lecturer. Hahaha.. Just because of this, he made my day. Sometimes it is just so easy to feed me full with happiness. =P

Here is my group members and my presentation of our dream job. 

Research Psychologist • Forensic Psychologist • Marriage and Family Therapist• Military Psychologist • School Psychologist • Child Psychologist • Headhunter • Grief Counselor

Guess which is mine? Hah! Will see who achieve it at the end of the day =) 

We are the group of people who dare to dream big! 


段落


事情已经告一段落了… 虽然心情感觉很参杂,但却带着很平静,踏实的心。

经过了那么多的事情,那么多的挣扎,他都活过来了… 姐姐,他说过他会活过来的,他活过来了。他衷心,打从心底想对你说很多很多很多的谢谢。他会做一个很好的陈美青,做一个很好的人,继续做他自己,一个和你一样对未来很有憧憬,向好事执着我行我素,时时对自己微笑的陈美青。

谢谢你这段日子里陪伴他,教他一个又一个无止尽的知识,带着他,牵着他。他可以慢慢地翱翔,继续飞翔。

这一趟旅程好美,好美。谢谢你,天使。

你最近好吗?过得怎样了?

你最近好吗?过得怎样了?
其实我很想你,只是,我不知道有什么理由可以让我去找你。

你最近好吗?过得怎样了?
有没有很积极地生活?有没有做着自己很爱做的事?

你最近好吗?过得怎样了?
搬家了自己独处的时间长了是不是比较自在了?要记得吃,不要再吭饼干了。

你最近好吗?过得怎样了?
是不是一样在强颜欢笑?傻乎乎的?

你最近好吗?过得怎样了?
一切还好吗?我还在呢!没有离开过,但是学你那样看开了。辽阔了…

你最近还好吗?过得怎样了?
有没有很想念每次我一而再再而三不停地说故事?有没有早早睡觉做点你常做的事来发泄不满?

你最近好吗?过得怎样了?
我过得很好… 不再做无谓的事情也明白了满篇文章的字有多懊恼… 

你最近好吗?
过得怎样了?
我很好。真的。只是想你了。=)

我可以找你吗?

曾经有一天
我很想很想你

现在也如此


Monday, December 29, 2014

孩子



孩子,这些日子里你傻了
往后的日子,你要记得自己是个怎样的人
要做个怎样的人
自己要走的路和方向
还有
自己的底线

奔驰吧孩子
因为你已经知道自己要去的去向了
要不,就像红蜻蜓那样
勇敢地,强悍地
飞在那蔚蓝的天空
不断追逐你的梦
继续成长 继续飞远

你一定要,你一定要

Friday, December 26, 2014

cooking class


This is so called cooking class. Hahaha! My friend was so surprising when I told her I had cooking class with the children in refugee centre. She suspected on my cooking skills. In fact, the cooking class is.. To make a sandwich. Simple enough. It's not even a cooking class actually. Feel cheated? Hmm.. Yea.. But the children enjoyed the class so much until the class turned into a mess in the end. >,<''

I'm glad that I have such memorable event with the kids and mates once in life. There is nothing much I can do. But there are a lot for me to learn.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014


始终未来得及学会多几句阿拉伯语。但很感恩有这样的机会与你真正道别。我的小朋友,你要好好努力。做个乖孩子。愿你在成长的道路上继续勇往直前,奋斗到底。继续奔驰。

前后和你告别了两次。记得在第一次告别后的几个星期,当我顿时出现在你眼前的时候,我看见了你打从内心的笑容。也没有想过在一次告别后还会回到我们起初相遇相见的地方。叙别几个星期后,你的沟通能力进步了,词汇也增加了!心情感觉上更开朗了。记得第一次见你,我向你比手画脚,一直没有办法沟通。记得当时的你只会no和yes。还有nine和fine。当然还有hello和what。

看见你渐渐地进步,逐渐地成长。和你一起了解更多关于你的事,我感觉很快乐。我常问自己,到底自己可以给你些什么,帮助你什么。我也常问自己,我教你的对你有没有帮助,你是否真的了解明白。所以每次都会重复问你之前写下来的笔记,看图问你词汇。看你总是可以正确地回答。我感到很欣慰。很感动。

孩子,虽然和你相处的日子短暂,但我很珍惜。

我想这次会是真正的告别。感谢你陪我走过的这些日子。感谢我有机会和你说声告别。你很棒。是个很棒的孩子。

我会想念你的。

شكرا

Saturday, December 20, 2014

既来之,则安之



我差点忘了在几个星期前
友人对我说过这句话

既然没有头绪,也没有妨碍到自己
那就随它吧随它则来,随它则去

既来之,则安之


懂了

Friday, December 19, 2014

Leave



Why do you want to let her go?
When you know she won't be happier for your leaving.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

我喜欢,不,我爱

对着空白的纸,拿起熟悉的笔
想要抒发一些情绪,表达一些思绪
原本想画些什么;想写些什么
拿着笔,却无从下手
最后还是把笔给放下了


连续两天梦见了你
是因为一直想你的关系吗?


没有写
一点也没有写
所有的情绪思绪感觉都没有抒发出来
只在心中留了几个字

“我都记得”


那是多么深刻
如此难忘
难以忘怀的情节


两个人的咖啡

最终
“喜欢的还是你”
“不”
“是爱?”

Abang and Adik


传说中的… 
Abang and Adik 

Friday, December 12, 2014

My Year 2


It is abit late to talk about this, but I'm still insist to write about this after one week. Here I ended my second year of undergraduate studies. The feelings is like, "ah.. finally~"; but at the same time, I couldn't believe that two years of the degree course is over-ed! It is just in a blink of eye! I'm so grateful and thankful. To certain extent, I feel proud. The one who are reading this might think that there is nothing to proud of. Indeed, it might just like a simple and normal process that every uni students will go through. However, I'm proud of myself not simply because I've completed my year 2 subjects; instead, I'm proud of knowledge and everything that I've learnt throughout the year. Or maybe because I am satisfy with my own attitude towards studies for last semester? Hehehe!

One thought that come into my mind after the finals: Studying is hard. No? But for me, it is. At least, it is not easy.

-"Once you put a lot of efforts on something (studies), you will realize it is never easy. But it can be easily done once you've mastered it. There is when you feel the joy and satisfaction; which you(I) hope to achieve."-


No more weekly quiz.. hoho! People who know me actually know how this quizzes stress me throughout the semester. Although it is just quizzes, yet, I get nervous everytime. Can you guess the consequences? Once I'm nervous and scare, things go worse. I can't think of the answer, then start blaming on myself. And it ruins my mood. The cycle goes on and on. huuu... But thanks to the quizzes. I'm able to see my weaknesses and get to improve gradually. Eventually.

-"Seeing errors and weaknesses are not enough. The challenge is how to get it right."-

It has been a tough year for me. The toughest year. I would say. I failed myself in life, almost giving up on myself. I felt sick. Mentally and physically. I spent long time on coping and reconstruct myself throughout the year, and I'm still rebuild myself now.


I'm glad that I'm no longer need this med to help me in recovery

I wouldn't say the incidents that I've gone through are very intense and stressful. Everyone has their own definition of stress. But these incidents caused me to feel stressful and have huge impacts on me. I've learnt that there's no such categorization of "big issue" or "small issue" in resolving struggles in life. As long as it disrupted and affected your life, then it is important. and it needs to be solved.

-"There is no "big" or "small" issue. As long as it affects you, it's important and needs to be resolved."-

Experiencing these events are torturing. Seriously. But it actually makes me grow. I learn a lot from everything that I've gone through and everyone that I meet this year.

Everything past and I'm free. It's coming to the end. Does the wound still bleeding and painful? No. It's no longer bleeding. Painful? Yes, a little bit, and it left a scar on my skin. But what can I do? Life goes on. =)

-"Scar does not need to be visible to feel the pain. Stories behind the scar could be painful. But it is also memorable."

Thursday, December 4, 2014

你还喜欢他吗?


今天和朋友聊起天
听他说说他最近的故事
我很用心聆听,很努力尝试明白

过程大约花了一个小时多… 他说,我听。不明白的地方,我问,他答。这样的轮回来来去去了好几回。

结束一切之前,我问了他一句:
“这一切的发生,到你经历了那总总地一切,那你还喜欢他吗?”
他简单地回答我:
“喜欢啊!但,我不可以。”

结果我们都笑笑。买了单,结束了对话。

-一个单纯的恋情。简单的相爱,却不能相恋。是这样的吗?-
-可惜的事,在这样的前提下,都不再单纯和简单。不是这样吗?-

-祝福你们-

-继续往前走-

 =) 

Monday, December 1, 2014

Focus to be a more confident person


Hey, please to be a more confident person. Remind yourself that you're actually doing what you should do, and what you need to do. You're doing it pretty well. Stop frightening yourself with the negative consequences and outcomes on unpredictable situations. You work hard on it, and you will get the return. Stop pushing yourself so hard to the extent where you hardly breath. 

Focus on what you should and what you need. Focus on things that you can do to make a change. You role your life. How do you think actually affect how do you react and behave. It's all about thoughts and belief. Focus on the right thing and believe yourself that you can always do it. Shape it, slowly.  

You're just you. You'll reach there one day. Learn from mistake, never repeat it again. Stay calm. To be a more confident, smarter and better person in life. Because you have long way to go.