I got to know that there are some distruptive thoughts that would slowly kill and destroy our mental strengths. I also got to learn the link between thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
I understand that our thoughts are so powerful that it could play a big impact on any part of our body, whether it's physically, psychological or mentally. That's why, I have never underestimate the power of my mind.
As I grow, I realise I'm someone who has lots of thoughts that play in my mind. And as I grow, I realise I enjoy transfer the thoughts into words that easier for me to recognise my inner voice or subconscious desires.
Nonetheles, I realise not everyone has so much thoughts and never take the time to process and think about how some random thoughts play a role in their life. Maybe I'm slightly sensitive over every thoughts or any random phrases that come into my mind. I feel uncomfortable if I don't pay attention to some of the thoughts that came into my mind, whether it's positive or negative.
I think one of my weakness is that - I get overrided.
Like the recent incident, I have been telling myself stop to do this stop to do that because I think that I shouldn't behave that way - to avoid myself getting hurt and sad. I feel that I'm restraining myself from doing lots of things that I wish to do, but to avoid some undesired consequences, I have to step back. It sounds right. I should step back and control myself in order to get rid of those negative consequences.
But guess what, the more I tell myself «no this» and «no that», I feel relatively uncomfortable. It seems like there're too much «no» in my mind, and it leads me focus so much on the problems - as like why it happens, and what should I do to avoid it from happening again.
I was pretty annoying and fed up when I hardly ask myself «not to do this» and «stop to do that». I realise that I can never solve it and I'm spending so much time in such inefficient ways thinking how can I avoid those undesire consequences.
I started to accept the fact that, what is meant to happen will happen. I allow things to happen. Not to stop it, nor avoid it. Im no longer stopping myself from doing so much, no longer telling myself so much «no» anymore. I decided to take the courage to do what my inner voice and what my real thoughts have told me. This may sounds stubborn, but yes, people say, you'll never learn how to stand if you never fall. I do believe that some negative or undesire incidents should happen in life so that we can learn from there.
I change. I change and I decided to tell myself, « it's ok », « it's alright ». I can do things that I wish to do. It's ok when there's negativity in life. It's alright to feel sad and down when thing doesn't happen as we wish. In the end, I still gain as I learn how to overcome it and I can see how things work when I change my mindset.
People say, when you allow things to happen naturally, you feel less stressful, you have less to worry about.
Although I'm still wotried that undesire consequences would happen on me as I'm allowing myself to do things that highly cause it to be happened, but that's me. It's the time for me to see what I've been invested is the right choice.
Again, it's ok to miss someone; it's ok for me to value the relationship even though I may not know if other party does so. It's ok. It's ok if the result doesn't turn as how I wish. It's ok, and it's alright. No matter what happen, it's ok.
Maybe I'm naive. But I'll still love you and miss you. Simply because I cherish you,I value you. Thank you.
