Every of the semester start, I will be full of energetic and always tell myself to do better in a new semester and forget the 'not so good' past experiences. I keep the faith, and I start every new semester with positive thoughts and attitudes. This is one way of protecting self-esteem I guess. It helps me to believe that I can do better, and I must prove to myself that I really can do it.
Things to be done is for myself and not others.
Perhaps I'm not persevere in what I believe on, I tend to slack off at the mid of semester. Like this semester, my brain has totally off duty for few weeks after I had my midterm. I postponed lots of things and my behavior is more towards to passive and unproductive. I procrastinated my schedule.
It takes times for me to regulate my behavior and rearrange my distort thoughts.
I was quite regretful for spending time on unimportant matters and did not concern about my studies, just with a excuse that I need to relax myself. I believe most of us would give ourselves this kind of excuse, but it ruined my progress. I blamed myself for did my assignments badly, procrastinated and involved in irrelevant issues from studies and self improvement.
Nevertheless, I'm grateful that I'm still able to differentiate what is right and wrong; what should I do and what I shouldn't and why I behave this way and not that way.
Finals start today. It can be considered that it is the first time I enter the exam hall with the least nervousness, and with confidence. This is the time where I knew I did badly for assignments, which eventually affects my grade, but I still insist to put more effort and stand positively toward my finals.
The carry marks was released one day before the exam. I was planning not to check it, but I checked in the end. Surprisingly the result is much better than what I've thought. It's really unexpected.
Lesson told me,
Things might not as bad as you thought sometimes.
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