Just the way you are

Sometimes we don't really need to care too much.  

Just hold the beliefs and keep the faiths.

and be confident, trust yourself.

If you believe it, you will try to do it and achieve it. It will lead you to the direction that you want to go eventually. 

If you think that you are amazing,

Then You are. 

You will be amazing as you think and how I see it in my eyes. 

If you think you are special, 

You are special as you think and you are the always special one. 

-You are amazing and I love you

Just as the way you are-

我愿意

我看见一个朋友，跟他通了电话… 让我感觉好心痛。他告诉近来的他经常和朋友去喝酒，直到三更半夜才回家。这样的生活，持续了几个月。他形容这班朋友为猪朋狗友。告诉我他不晓得自己什么时候会爆肝。我很高兴他愿意和我分享他的生活，让我能够更了解他的近况。但这样的他，真的让我担心不已。

他是个闪耀的一盏灯。总是在人群里发光发热。为无数的人群照亮大地。也像天空中，经常闪烁的星星。他曾经闪得耀眼，闪得光芒… 

可看见现在的他，我像是看见一颗颗破碎的砖石… 洒落满地… 一颗颗… 零碎满地… 但他依旧漂亮… 依旧闪烁… 

虽然破碎了… 但我依然想把那一颗颗破碎的钻石捡起来… 或许他再也没有办法可以结合起来变成一模一样，完美无瑕的一卡拉钻石。但或许他可以以别的模式亮相？我是这么想的。

不管他是一个完整的钻石，还是以碎钻串起来的手环。在我心中，他依然耀眼，依旧漂亮… 

我真真切切想让他找回自己，让他看见自己耀眼的那一面。如果可以，我愿意在这路上扶持他，和他一起走。因为我知道，这样的路，自己走，很辛苦。

我可以愿意和你一起走。但引导自己走向哪一样的前方，完全取决于你。你才是你生命的主导者呀。

我想说，去找自己，好吗？

是时候，重拾自己了。

或者我应该用激将法的对你说：二十岁人了… 你好不好为自己想一想，成熟点思考？为什么就是学不会不伤害自己？顾顾自己，你有家人有朋友需要照顾和关心的。他们需要你，如同你需要他们一样。不是吗？

···请你继续闪烁。因为每一个人，都拥有那个值得闪烁的机会。···

留不住

嗯，对啊，很多事情是留不住的

剩下的

就只会是脑海里

那黑白的画面
停留着

无论回忆多么努力地追，总是没有追到尽头的一天

···有些人努力地生活

有些人却努力生存着···

我们到底是在生活

还是生存？

据说，多半的人成天所做的都是为了生存

到底生存背后的意义是什么？

那生活呢？

你活着吗？

不，我要问的问题应该是

我活着吗？

值得思索


有时候
我需要很多时间去探讨
让思绪漫流


找灵魂

Crying; mthys; repress; paradoxical; self acceptance

I'm a person who cry easily. I was very frustrating with this trait until I realized that it's not a sin for crying. 

I was convinced that crying is a sign of weakness; crying means you can't handle your emotions well; crying doesn't solve any problems and it makes things worse and etc. 

Therefore I stop myself from crying. I stop allowing myself to express my emotions to anyone else.
I told myself to face the issues and solve it. Cry doesn't help and it won't make things work. Stop doing things that doesn't make things work. Instead, I need to fix it.

I thought repressing my emotions would make me focus more on task and be more rational when it comes to decision making. I insist to be someone who is tough, stable and capable in carry out anything in life. I want to be a better person. I thought stop crying showed that I'm able to manage my emotions; I thought stop crying indicated that I'm really a tough person and etc.

Somehow, results proved me wrong. I proved to myself that those beliefs are a bunch of myths. It is wrong. So wrong.

Emotional suppression renders me less capable in doing many things in life. Even though I try very hard not to allow any tears drop from my eyes, but deep in heart I might feel uncomfortable. I didn't fully express it and actions that I did was avoiding the emotions. I do not allow the emotions get involved especially when it comes to completing works related to academic and life decisions. I do not accept myself from being sad also. Slowly, I realized that I don't even accept myself. Because I'm acting as a person whom I am not, whom I don't want to be, whom I don't like.

In the end, I found that all of that thoughts were wrong. So wrong. Preventing myself and stopping myself from expressing my sadness by crying it out failed to fully resolve any of the issues. Ideally, stopping myself from crying and suppressing my emotions might serve a useful purpose. Ideally suppressing emotions transfer to energy motion that lead me to be a better person in handling adversity. Ideally. 

But I never know it would bring out negative effect as the more I insist to be a better person and the more I want to stop myself from being who am I at the beginning until I don't see any good outcomes from the believing thoughts. Paradoxical. So paradoxical. Someone actually pointed out that she saw a paradoxical effect on me through the conversation I had with her. The point that she brings up wakes me up all in a sudden and I see a clearer picture now.

We need our emotions. I need my emotions. I'm a person who have my own thought, my emotions and my own way of living the life. Recognize our feelings indirectly show that we are accepting who we are. I can only perform better when I accept myself as who I am. 

Crying isn't a sin. It's my coping mechanism. Not allowing myself from expressing my emotion and rejecting myself is cruel. I've my own way of living myself. 

~原来哭了之后不能算，还会生气，

脾气变得越来越糟，

是因为你在做一个你不喜欢的自己。~

Oh, I got it.
=)

Bro - you'll be okay.

I told this people that I'm not ok when I am really not ok few days back. I remembered that I used to talk to him anytime during school days. I remembered that we had a lot of fun memories together. But slowly, this people grow. He grows in a rapid speed. He makes me feel like I'm so immature and keep staying at the same point. I feel inferior and guilty sometimes because I'm far behind of him. But, slowly, I understand. And now, no matter how far I am behind him, seeing him getting closer and closer to success and doing things that he likes and enjoys, I feel really proud of him. He is just like my brother. Really. I will never get to have this kind of brother ever except him. He makes me grow, he teaches me, leads me, guides me, cheers me and concerns about me. He also scolded me, criticized me, showed of to me when I did something wrong and when he felt so proud of himself. That's why sometimes I'm scare of him also. Especially when I feel I'm not right. 

We often fight. Yes, we fight. But no matter how hard he scolds me, I know he's doing it for my own good. This is his ways of pushing me to move forward and only him dares to use this kind of approach on me! Although sometimes doesn't work, it probably making things even worse and we end up fighting again, but I will never fail to get motivation from him when I really need it. Like what he sent. 

He is nice sometimes; but he is like a devil at the same time. I like him, sayang him as brother; but I also hate him, so badly and seriously. Blahh!!! 

Ok, you make me feel better and really better when I am so so down the other day. I forgive you. LoL!! =P blahh pop! =)

Okay, this is really a good friend, a good brother that I met in life.

成长的眼泪

我哭着说：觉得自己没有成长、不懂得处理问题、不进则退

他则说：这一切的一切，你所经历的一切，都是在成长。那是一个成长的过程。现在你所掉的眼泪，每一点，每一滴… 都是成长的眼泪… 那是成长的眼泪。你在为自己的成长掉眼泪…


是，那是一个多么长气，多么忧伤的眼泪

姐姐 2

有时我在想，自己到底做了什么好事让上天送了这么可贵的礼物给我—让我遇见这样的你…

即使你在多么的遥远，任凭我不知道你在那个角落… 但你却能在我觉得很需要你的时候突然把一个温暖的被单递给我，把它将我盖得非常安稳。非常安稳。

我很感谢你带给我的每一份惊喜与礼物。很感激你对我的厚待。更令我感动的是，纵然我们不知道对方在哪个角落，纵然我们不知道对方现在状态如何，但你却能感受到此刻我有多么地需要你。所以你送来了很真切的关心给我。

谢谢你。谢谢你如此疼爱我。
谢谢你如此尽责。

情书 1

你是我目前写过最美丽的情书

=')

Cafe . Waiting . Love . Again?!

This movie is pretty hit and popular among the teenage and adolescent groups recently. There're lots of quotations come from the movie and it seems like fitting quite well into everyone's life and it's spreading all over the social media. 

Friends gave appraisals to the movie and said that it is very touching and meaningful movie. Everyone seems like able to find himself and fit himself in any character in the movie. 

But too bad. I didn't watch it. I haven watch it. However, this is giving me an opputunities to brainstorm and guessing about the storyline. Without script, without knowing the flow, without knowing the character. It's like life,we wouldn't know what is happening next, who is coming next in the life journey, but to experience it by ourselves. I'm the director and writer of the scene. That would be more meaningful. 

But if I would have the chance, or someone asks me to watch it in appropriate time, there's a high possibilities that I will say Yes. I've long time didn't step into cinema. LoL! 

Mainstream

很mainstream地… 

在车上拍照

好像有点真的太白hor?

嗯，像朋友说的那样
这张是拿来<吓人>的


***
有时候

对自己微笑，是最大的安慰

因为我，喜欢自己的笑容
***

累

我很累。我真的很累。

...走得很累...