I can be your supervisor

This is another mail that keeps me awake at the late night. Normally when I send out a mail, I won't desperately looking for the reply. In fact, if the mail is very important and I'm 'gan jeong-ly' waiting for reply, meaning if the mail is really very important, I won't keep checking and see if I got the reply. I won't click on the mail app button on my phone, and I will resist myself to log in to check my mail when I switch on my laptop. If I do check the mail and it shows a new inbox on it, in which I can read what's the first few words of the reply, I'll hold on and not click on it to read the full mail. I don't know why, but this is my habit. Maybe I think that I'm not ready to read the reply yet, I suppose. Weird right? I'm wondering why I behave in this way while I'm typing..

If I receive the important reply in the early morning or afternoon, I probably will read it at night, when I'm at my quiet bedroom, feeling comfortable and ready to read the mail. In this case, I actually received the reply at night. I'll read the mail next day normally. I was too tired and almost fall asleep that day. But I accidentally and hyper-ly click on the mail and read it. *ouch*

I'm so shocking to get the reply so soon right after I send it out. And the reply surprised me until I still can feel the happiness when I recall the incident now. I end up staying awake although I feel so sleepy because I'm too excited to get the reply from the person that day. 

I don't know whether it is a right and good choice to make the decision, but I keep the faith that when I choose you, I will take the responsibility and I will trust you fully.

14/01//2015

那是最初的妄想，如今却事实在在发生在我身上。从来没有想过，这样奢求的想法会变成事实。又是一个“早已经知道自己要什么了，兜了一大圈还是回到原点”的经历。

我很仰慕你，很敬佩你；同时却很怕你。我记得自己想尽脑子都想不到自己的偶像是谁，最后弱弱地告诉为我做测验的辅导员学姐说我其中的role model是你… 并且乱掰了几个原因。后来想想，其实是真的。没有乱掰。即使真的掰，也掰的有理。

兜了一大圈，最后的选择

回到原点，还是你

其实很多时候，我已经清楚知道自己要的是什么。其实我懂的，很多。