你不是别无选择

书面中，你看见的，是日出还是日落？

如果，

你看见的是日出，但它实际上是日落照，你还会坚持它是日出吗？

如果，

你看见的是日落，而我告诉你，事实上，那是在日出时拍的，你会不会就此认定它就是日落照？

再看清楚一些。

看见了吗？

其实不管它是日出还是日落，书面中，有大半是黑夜。

------ ----- ----- ----- -----      ------ ----- ----- ----- -----

不管它是日出，还是日落，都有黑暗的时候。

日出前，天是黑的；日落后，天是暗的⋯

你可以把凌晨12.00的到来看成一天的结束；更可以把它看成一个新的开始

#一天的结束，就是另一天的开始⋯#

一切，都看你怎么看。你从来，就不是别无选择。

PM, 2015.

继续，沉淀
再见，7月
··爱··

爱到要生要死

你知道我爱你爱得要生要死⋯

朋友传来一句“爱到要成要死”⋯

其实爱，没有必要爱得如此。我忽然记得一个朋友发了一张照片给我，说到一个什么都不缺的人，才能够体会和等待那最根本的爱情。那最纯素的爱情，也只有什么都不缺的人才能得到。

他们不需要爱情为他们带来些什么，因为爱情只会带给他们爱情。

只有不缺，才能够感受那爱的本质。当你爱得爱生要死，你是不是在那段爱情里寻找着一些你生命里缺乏的东西？

爱情里，没有牵累。

爱得死来活去，是牵累。

绊倒了自己；牵累了他人。

你没有必要爱得如此。

做回自己。在真正能够给你缺乏那些素质的关系身上找回你缺的。不要把它赖在爱情的关系上。

把安全感退还给信任；把难过退换给跌倒；把害怕还回给恶魔；把讨厌退还给树敌；把担心还给未知；把美好，还回给你生命的故事⋯ 

爱情没有办法给你所有你缺乏的，因为它不是全然，也不是所有。

它没有办法为你带来感全感，当你没有办法信任

当你为它背负着太多责任和期盼的时候，你牵累了它⋯ 同时，自己的心灵，也被牵累了⋯ 

望

其实，如果我可以

我会不惜一切地飞奔至你身边

告诉你关于我的苦恼不快乐

并非未能独立自主

而是现实的抨击偶尔有点伤痛

要是我可以

我会不顾一切的逆风奔驰

感受与狂风最亲密的接触

我知道逆风而驰的冲击非常大

但飞机也是如此启航的

如果我抬头

眺望远方寻找

可否看见你那天使的身影

我要停止一切呻吟

太肤浅，太戏剧

姐姐，忽然好想和你说说话⋯

我远远想让你看见一个茁壮成长的我

想让你远远看见，她是一个一个自行独立，活得很亮丽的孩子

因为你我都相信，

她是 =')

再大的风浪；再大的暴风

邂逅··平息

那一天，她想见你，告诉你不如意的事；

这一天，她依然想见你，告诉你她如何度过那不如意的事~

你知道她习惯reflect感受…

她知道，她是一个这样的自己。

Hashtag

This people is very funny sometimes. 

The moment when I saw the funny hashtag… After such a long time… Yes, sometimes I miss the time spending with this person. 

We don't meet very often, and I don't know how I look like from your angle perspectives. I know you always have lots of work to be done and I don't dare to disturb you. 

Thank you for sharing so much stories with me. I'm willing to listen to your stories, any stories regarding to the time you've been experienced or anything that made you distress. I can't do much, but listening. I hope, you'll feel better and relief after you share it out with me. 

I put you in heart, always. =) 

缺

My friend sent me this and told me that he thought of me when he read this. LoL! 

- Friends are people who can think of you anytime randomly. -

The sentence is too deep. I'm not sure if I got the gist, but for me, it looks cool. 

都不缺⋯ 

LOL! 

Throw

I remember she heard something and told me that that's why you worry about me so much that time. And Now, I understand better about your role.

The moment when you hold my hand, and tell me you'll walk with me along the journey. 

The moment you hold my hand and ask me to promise you and work with you. 

#throwback time. =') 

You'll never fail to make me smile. I miss you, a lot. The angel. 

honest and apologize

Start noticing lots of mistakes made when I review my work done. It makes me wonder why I never notice it when I was doing the checking before finalized and confirmed the work to be carried out. But it was too late to question the 'why'. In opposite, the 'how' could probably help in reducing the impact of the mistakes. As such, 'how' can I do to solve the problems due to the mistakes // 'how' can I improve and avoid repeating the mistakes next time.

Conclusion made: no matter how, as long as you made mistakes, be honest and apologize first before people (especially authority) pointed it out to you.

Reason(s):

1. It shows that you recognize the mistakes

2. This is how you learn from your mistakes before you can make a change for improvements

3. You're honest and most people would appreciate the integrity you have

4. When you're truthful to yourself, you have nothing to hide and worry

I know it's hard to recognize mistakes and wrongdoing in front of people. It's even harder when it creates more troubles and negative consequences that you never hope to see or face. But you'll never know, sometimes, the outcomes might not be as worse as you thought. 

After knowing the value of honesty, I choose to apologize when I realize that I've done the mistakes. Though it is not a big issue for me, and it is not that serious and need apology. Although it is not a big issue, I still question myself why I never notice it earlier. At the same time, I know it's better to notice it at this time before it's really too late. 

I check my mail and wait for the reply during the holidays. 

And I feel relief, so I smile, again.

美好

“当你真心对一个人好，他会感受到，而且也会对你好”

星期天，美好的早晨，你好！但愿以如此清新，如此贴近大自然的生活度过接下来的日子。

路途很遥远；天空很宽阔。

仰望，阔大；享受，自在；美好，微笑。

当我们对世界善良、友善；世界会回报于我们快乐、自在。

一年

一年之前；
一年之后⋯

这是我一年前连续九天都来的地方… 一个可以让我让我沉淀自己的地方… 

那时候我独自一人闯进这个地方，坚持呆在这里足足九天… 最后我没有后悔，反而至今想回去当时的独来独往，许多画面不由自主地浮现在脑海里。

回想起来的画面感总带着许多参杂的感觉。让我觉得那种种无法用言语来形容的感受是如此的靠近；回忆却又如此的遥远… 

那时是我第一次真正在外面生存打工… 第一次，去到几十公里以外，一个人生地不熟的地方做一个连我自己都搞不清楚真正要做什么的地方去工作。（其实我以为我家去那里很远，刚刚waze查了查，结果很近… 才几十公里，比我每天去上课还要近！但为什么我总觉得很远？=X ）

我每天搭着公共交通去到目的地，虽然有好几天总是觉得不够睡，但不管我有多懵懂地塔上火车，我会很自然的观察四周的人群：看着身边周围是什么人；他们在做什么；每一站谁下站，又有谁上站；甚至尝试闭上眼睛将上一秒眼扫的画面拼凑在脑海里，再开眼睛看看扫描的记忆和现实的画面的差距有多大… 虽然听起来很无聊，但这可以解释为什么我可以很长的时间静静不出声，并且注视一些朋友通常不会注意的东西，如，鞋子。

我感觉这九天里我几乎与身边的人事“与世隔绝”。我没事不开data，无聊也不fb，就连whatsApp都没有开notifications… 我完全投入在茫茫的书海中，每天听着什么“认书不认输⋯ a-b-c-d⋯ 随时随地⋯ so beautiful⋯ 世界与我⋯” —基本上就是主题曲，还有隔壁摊的“小星星⋯ 什么发光名⋯” 还有什么“小吉小云最开心⋯” ……… 我听到都快疯了… 

但你会不知道，一年后看回去，我会想念这些歌… 我会想念早上起床搭火车去到不是很遥远但让我感觉很遥远的路线图… 我会怀念坐在那里听着一个又一个名人上台演说和分享的故事的画面… 也会想起那里认识的朋友们… 

九天以来，我觉得自己比较像是一个莫名其妙，在书市里随意乱走的孩子… 我不时混进人群里找书看，多人就钻小路直径柜台，把书带到柜台坐着慢慢看… 虽然有活动的时候是有点忙，但与其说工作，与书市的员工相比，我觉得自己比较像在那里游乐、在玩乐中学习…

所以今年回去，很多画面不由自主地连续在脑海里播放着… 一幕又一幕… 让我觉得如此靠近如此遥远。

一年就这样过去了… 

这一趟像是一个“回去”的旅程… 让我看见许多熟悉的样子，有四五年没见的聊得很畅快的、有两三年没见也没来得及打招呼的、有见过面却不认得我的、有去年每次碰面都会微笑点头问好现在却不太看见我存在的、也有去年才认识，现在还认得我的友人们… 看见他们都让我好高兴… 可惜的是，我不认得一年前时不时出现在摊位隔壁和我聊天分享点滴的kakak，不认得在厕所忽然感谢我洗手时把手上的水撒在洗脸盆的kakak（因为很多人都撒在地上，她担心地上滑，会发生意外，所以不断地再确保地上保持干爽和干净），要不然，我会注意是否还有缘遇见她们… 看见如此卖力工作的人群，让我看见对生命积极的态度和体现… 

一年就这样过了… 那天来到这儿让我去年的记忆一时涌上心头。当我离开时，心，似乎还逗留在书海里… 

我很想念这里。一个，让我成长的地方。一个，让我沉淀自己的地方。一个让我自在的地方。一个，让我开始发现和深思自己笑容背后有悲伤的地方。一个，让我看很多书却不需要还钱的地方。一个，即使在工作，也可以让我不时自如走动、走走看看的地方。一个，我开始认识很多人、看见更多、更大的世界的地方。

希望那笑容背后的悲伤，有随着时间慢慢的流逝… 因为一年前，这里经历的一切，像似在为我心中的那颗成长种子施肥，助它生长；一年后，那成长种子已经发芽成长，而且长很安稳。在我心中，它正继续努力的向上，让我可以成为一个更茁壮的孩子。

- 感谢有一年我曾认识你；然后在这里和你相遇或相识… -

- 愿你在那里，一切安好。 -

已无伦次

⋯ 重生的七月⋯ alive⋯ 爱⋯ grateful⋯

用心的去经营每一个日子，一步一步的前进，慢慢的去探索，你会发现，周围的事物会慢慢因为你的改变而有所变化。倘若你一直站在原点，你在的，还是在原地。

谢谢你来我生命里，给我很多真心，让我成为一个很好的自己，慢慢发芽，茁壮成长。

- 其实有什么好害怕的。只要你真心对一个人好，那个人会感受到，也一样对你好。relationship is quite individualistic sometimes. -

Death

We all have been told to live our life fully, without regret. If there's any great opportunities, grab it. Because we only live once.

Some people say that we shall think that everyday is our last day of live, so we could live harder and be more appreciate with what we have at the moment. It probably strengthen our courage to do things that we wish we could do, but hestitate due to multiple concerns. 

But it's very unusual to think that I'm going to die tomorrow.

But, if it happened, life never come back. 

I've told you that I died once in dream. Your eyes turn red and afraid of me leaving. If my ancestors brought me, and I never come back, I wouldn't have the chance to meet you after years.

I remember how quick it was between the happening of life and death, I remember how far it was between my dead self and people who are alive. I remember how regret I was for being unable say a last goodbye to people whom I care and love. 

For me, dying is not scary, but failing to complete things that I want to achieve, like leaving a will and words to my friends and family would make me suffer and struggle in death. 

I'm not sure why I always have the strange dreams. It happens again this two weeks. 

It makes me spend some times think about my life. Touch wood, if I'm gone, I hope I'll have some words leave for you. If no, I hope I've brought you some joys and the sense of meaningfulness in life to you, whom I care in life. 

If I know I'm leaving, I would

- first say I love you to my friends and family 

- write long message for people whom I really cared and loved 

- hope to be able to show my gratitude sincerely by saying "thank you for bring me up" and giving a closest and tightest hug to my family, my angel and my close friends

And I hope, I would leave my loves with smile for you all. 

对身边爱的人要及时

美丽的爱，会括盖恐惧… 

没有完成的画

-无所畏，无所惧- 篇

有人在编排行程或计划时，会尝试预计得准确，把风险减至最低。会希望所有的事情都可以如计的进行，完成，优雅的谢幕。

但总有千万个未知的因素可以随时打乱了已安排好的路。那种种的未知数很令人泄气、也很令人恐惧。所以很多人都套用了“计划永赶不上变化”来形容如此无奈的情节。但这就意味着做事情不应该要预先做好铺排、无需预计、不要安排吗？

不。

即使有很多未知的因素，都不能忽略了事先准备的功夫。或许最后的结果不如预期的效果，但当你有了编排行程的准备功夫，无形中，也因此而强化了你对那行程的大方向。同时，在准备功夫的过程中，都会让你有机会预测和计算更多未知因素发生的可能性。所以这才叫准备和预计。

没有一个预计的准确度高达100%；也没有100%不会漏洞的编排。大家都是人类，何苦为难同类不许出错。况且，每个未知的因素，都是让你能够为下一个计划想得更周全的铺层。

虽然，

未知很恐惧；无法完成很泄气。

但当你凡事做了最好的安排，接纳了未知的存在，即使未能如预期的编排抵达目标，但至少你不会失去方向。做好准备，接受未知的因素，即使最后未能完成已经开始上色的画，甚至需要把画给阁下、留下、离去，或许你会感受可惜；但你也会对如此未知的因素介入而感觉无所畏，无所惧。

The moment when you're prepared, accepted the probability of unpredictable happening, you'll hope for the best. Even though it might ruin the planned schedule, it may even cause you fail to reach the destination of the plan, but you will be firm of your stand. You would have the alternative ways to go instead of being stucked and lost in direction. 

When you've already accepted the unpredictable happening, you won't be frightening, if it happens. 

Acknowledgement

Acknowledgment. Thank you. Your words made my day as well. 

Again, thank you for giving me an opportunity to be truthful to myself and in front of you. I'm proud to say that I'm your student at once. 

"I appreciate your honestly and am proud of your integrity"

I learn more than just the knowledge from the text. I learn more from you, the attitude towards life in overall. 

May God bless you, and me as well. =) 

Prank

This story tell me to be aware when people asked for your infomation and details. Anytime and to anyone. No matter it is day or night; regardless of how much you trust the person. Also, it also tell me to prank people in a smarter way. LoL! 

One night, my friend happily texted me and said, "finally you created an Instagram account." I was abit confused and she sent me the screenshot of my account. I stunned with big eyes. Automatically, I recalled few minutes ago, one of my friend asked for my info. LoL! 

What a prank they did on me. These people are always funny and silly. 

------- ---

The moment when I bumped into new group of friends and tried to get closer with them to know more about them deeply. I realize there's nothing to be hide and no such things as private and secret policy. They would tell me anything that I don't know and I can't stop myself from laughing and giving a stunned facial expression to them.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to meet these people in my life. When I was down, they motivated me; when I was nervous, they gave me a hug without hesitate. 

But why you make used of my trust on you to prank me in that way?! Hahaha! It's alright, because I wasn't that smart enough when I tried to make fun of you guys and you guys are trying to get me an account. LoL! 

I would use it, if, it wasn't register under my academic email address. LOL! 

Thank you for the good deed. =) I have lots of fun with you guys! 

What A Prank..~~~

@@

XD

=O

半年

我要眺望远方，看着蔚蓝的天空，像看着充满无限可能的未来，步步前进 … …

··2015 已过了大半年，回眸看看以往的自己，欣慰地看见自己离过去渐渐的远去；却为心割的感受感觉痛彻心扉。

··六个月内始终有特定的突破。我很少为新的一年定下目标并用文字记下。但我坚信自己对于2015的思路还算清晰。我想或许因为自己知晓跌倒的意义；又或者已经体会当前痛楚的极限，不想再重复反复颠倒碰撞的滋味。

··我相信人类是求生的生物。任何行动和举止都是求生的体现。对于行为的对错和举止的是非，我还没有控权。或许这些都不太重要，我更关心的，是每个求生体现的根和本。

··我不想再往后退，也不想像吃了迷幻药的个案不断地让过去吸引着。这份毒药确实很危险，一旦碰上，更会上了瘾，被以往的美好与伤痛牵着，甚至锁绑，无法脱离过去，寸步难行。

··当你想告诉别人不要对他人有偏见的时候，你更应该做的，是以行动证明你可以接纳更广泛的人群。

··这一年半以来，有两个人向我说了一样的话——— “你就像是以前的我。”这仿佛在告诉我：面对一些世俗的情节是件再也普通不过的事。又或者，那是个必经的过程。一旦跨越了，那就成长了。

··在生活过程中，最有趣的地方，莫过于在过渡时期的转变和成长。没有比这转变的成长更有价值、更加喜悦。

··虽然回顾依旧感觉苦涩，也许那是年轻、青春、青涩的代表作。再苦，也都会有甘甜。

··生活不难，不苦；但却也不容易。年，总过得很快。在跑道上的自己，走了几公里？拿了多少；放了多少？

··有些梦像似幸福的催眠，却会带着一些微酸的感觉。有时候，梦做一半，比较美。

··不忘感谢很多身边出现的人。有播种子的、有施肥的、有拔苗助长的、有踩踏的、也有路过的。想念的继续挂念；想靠近的继续保持；想脱离的继续远离；想握紧的继续牵牢；想冲刺的继续赛跑；想放走的继续丢下；想爱的继续迷恋。都没有错。请好好善待自己。

··其实也没有很远，过了，也就走了。去哪里？不晓得。愿可走远，是否回望，看着你的眼神有答案。不变，至少至今，没有变。

··有一种情感叫陪伴。太阳升起，抬头望望，微笑前行。可以，同步前行。

杂

可惜的是

你已经不在身边

=')

才发现

身旁也有很美好的章节

后知后觉

已经不在迷恋坚持

我已经

飞的更高跑得更远

但到头来

还是秉持着信任

以往
都是最美丽的故事

向往着

成为一个更好的自己