One week, still can't stop to call out your name.

It has been a week since he left me. I can't stop to call out his name. Everytime when I close my eyes, I can vividly visualise the day, when I came home and got the shocking news. I looked at him, lying down and remained unmoved. His body was still warm. I got down on my knee and I hugged him, lied on his body, as closest as I could. I didn't want to let go, because I know it will be forever gone after I let go. I called out his name, saying, "Rocky, good boy. Rocky.", repeatedly.

Until now, how I wish I could see him. Whether it is in dreams, or illusions. I could hug the air, and pat on the air, like how I hugged him the other day. 

No. I'm not sick. I'm just missing him. And going through the grief.

I know it is very hard to understand the deep saddest lie in my heart. Especially to those who had never have a dog as pet. But thank you, my peers. I've received some comforting messages. I replied in very short sentence. Perhaps just a thank you. But I do received your kindness and caring. Thank you, I appreciate it a lot. I just don't know how to respond to this, but I'm doing alright. Yes, I'm alright. *bow*

----

一个星期已经过去… 回忆起当时的情节，眼角还是不经意地掉下眼泪。

那时候，我看着他，躺在地上一动也不动。我抚摸着他，叫着他的名字。我心里想着，我该怎么妥善的面对这个离别。我想着，家人会如何面对这件事；我在想，Rocky临走前他在想什么。我有太多思绪不断在我脑海里碰击。太多，太多。

结果我自然跪下，抱着他，开始什么都不想，只感受那还炙热的体温，抚摸着他，不断呼叫他的名字。那动作让我感觉暖暖的。我努力把自己贴近他的身体，感受和他最靠近的距离。任凭爸爸说着“不用尽，Rocky去找他的好朋友了～” ，我还是呼唤着他的名字，抚摸他，抱着他，不放手。不让爸爸处理他的身体。我什么都不听，只希望可以听见他的心跳。

我不放手，是因为我知道这一次一放手，那就是永远。

事后我不断地强调，没有任何人（狗），可以取代Rocky在我心中的位置。他是一个最棒的狗儿,最好的伙伴，最听话的孩子。或许我太害怕，害怕他觉得走了之后，没有人记起他，想念他，怀念他。

这一刻我多想赖着说我什么都不要，只想要回我的Rocky。像电视剧里的情节一样，哭赖着。只可惜，这不是连戏剧。

闭上眼睛那刻都可以想起当时的画面，那个倒下就起不了身的影子。

我的双脚软弱，

到底死亡来临前，我可以为你做什么？

我多想可以再呼叫你的名字

看着你的眼睛

和那俏皮的动作

你知道吗

我

每次都想呼喊你的名字