谢谢

或许我物质上的享受和精神上的满足有差异。
但事实上，我有的实在太多了。
虽然总被许多困扰中迷惑了。
实实在在，美好的事物，在我身边。

当我需要帮助的时候，有人给我扶持。
当我觉得疑惑的时候，有人为我分析。
当我需要爱的时候，还会有人给我很窝心的回答。

谢谢你们。我身边的每一个你。

I have a junior

I have a junior.  She is a good student, intelligent & smart girl.  Besides, she can handle things wisely and think further.  In fact, she gave me a good impression.

I seldom go close with my junior.  I like them, I love them.  But I've never show that, I guess.  Some senior are very close to their junior, some treat their junior friendly and some strictly.  I guess, maybe, I'm the un-involve person.  I seldom involve in their activities and social talk.  I seldom go closer and talk with their studies, family and friends issue.  Sometimes, I think I'm unfamiliar, too far from their social.  I guess, that's why I am always behind.

Back to the junior I've mentioned early.  No doubt, she gives me a good impression.  I know she works really hard for both academic and co-curriculum.  and so, I like her active and positive attitude shown in front of me.  Even though, I know, sometimes, she is quite clumsy, but in the end, surely she is able to manage everything. (Y)

Why am I talking on her in this post? hah! I just have a short conversation with her in Facebook.
I couldn't remember I cried when I got my SPM result until she raise up the topic; I couldn't know I my cry is so miserable to her.  LoL!
Here that is::

Hey girl, you are so funny! haha!
Thanks for bringing up such memorable yet funny events in this night.
I miss the moment when I meet up my friends, keep sharing the result one another, and say: hey, you change a lot.

Maybe I should visit you when your turn to take your SPM result!! *grin*

 short, but nice talk.

=)

12月的到来

有些东西看似很多、很慢、很长；但实际上它过得很快。一不留意，它就溜走了。

就像时间。就拿年份来打给比方。

在年头时，总会觉得，啊~又一年的。今年我要……我会……怎样怎样等等。若是你中间没有什么刻苦铭心或是难忘的记忆片段，那么当你回想2012年，那该是过得如一般的水流一样，流过，就真的冲走了。若2012年的整体回忆似水流，那么那些刻苦铭心及你记得的回忆必是水流中的石头，被水流撞击而产生的砯砯声——凶则惊涛拍岸，波涛汹涌；甜则擦出火花，留下永恒。

对我而言，2012年，还好。不算有太大的转折。至少我可以应付。当然当中有我迷恋的、厌倦的、无奈的。但总算熬得来。我迷恋我有的野蛮；我厌倦烦人的对人处事；我无奈事事无法预料。

所以又来到了今天，2012年的最后一个月。我，要过得充实点。为水流中，产生更多更美的涟漪。让它细水长流，慢慢地流，暖流。

那你呢？=)

这是两年前的照片。
书桌上，还有add math的痕迹。
今天，它不一样了。
=)

结婚纪念日

那一天，她的生日。还想该怎么和她庆祝。结果早上起身，她和他却不见了踪影。我想，又去拍拖了。

他们没有任何交代，只是说晚上不用等他们吃饭。结果，我们自己吃了。

我不晓得他们去哪里，也不晓得他们哪来的力气和精力在户外走近一大半天。印象中，那天天气还算炎热。

大概晚上十点多，他们才回家。只见她手上拿了一把鲜艳的花，脸上，还笑着春风。我问他们去了哪里。她只说：“哎，很累”。我看她过得还算快乐，所以她回来以后我都没有打扰她。要知道，她脾气，不是好惹的。

不懂在怎样误打误撞的情况下，我在她的房间闲着。虽然我觉得有点不对劲，也对他们今天的去向起了很大的好奇心。但我选择原封不动。

他突然说，我告诉你们一些东西。不过你们不要跟爸爸妈妈讲，因为我自己会说。我们就点点头。他继续说：“拿，这些就是今天我和你姐大（我叫大姐的叫法）拍的照。今天咧，我跟你姐大求婚了，她也答应了”。

这不但对她而言是个惊喜；对于我而言，也是个很大的惊喜。虽然我只是顺便的点点头，似不在乎的样子。但其实心里却有种说不出的感觉。当然，我很开心。只是，这很突然。

我看着照片，就这样，压抑了我当时的情绪。因为看照片说的故事实在太精彩了。他说他因此而筹备了半年，当然精彩。我晓得，他是多么谨慎、仔细、有计划的人。他找来的飞机师，租了飞机、做了一个长长的banner……及不算金钱上的花费；这对他精神上的消耗，可从来也不少的。

我深信这种人不多。但偏偏她遇上了一个。她，是幸福的。

所以她就在一年后的29/07/2012到婚姻注册局注册；11/11/2012在SS2摆酒；25/11/2012正式结婚。

这，是他们俩，结婚的事。一件，幸福的事。

结婚那件事……

是他们俩的事……

是被大家祝福的一件事……

Aggressive

在迎接十一月的来临，我心想，但愿这个月都顺利、愉快

。

就在十一月的第一个星期，心情起伏已经很大。

像天气一样……时阵雨，时放晴。

我很想积极地表达出我的情绪与情感。

但我做不到。

我总是觉得，要表达出自己的思绪，要顾虑的事情很多。

既不让对方难堪（除特例）；也不让自己受伤。

这是一个很难衡量的天枰。

所以很多时候，我暗示。但不表明。

但有人总会觉得，你不说出来，对方怎知道你在想什么呢？

嗯，对，没错。

但同时，

我想，该人的观察能力或许不太好。

·1我不当面表达出你的行为如何使我渐渐地失望，一方面因为我不想你难过；令一方面是因为那失望几乎变成绝望。

·2我迟迟不往前踏步因为我发现就连自己也不知道自己想要什么，我根本没有资格想你们要求些什么。即使我不快乐，但我bear with it。因为你们有你们的立场。只是我的想法和你们不同。

·3你说我已不像以前的我。我很惊讶，因为我觉得自己根本没改变。但随着环境的迁移，我只能说，或许你，不懂。

·4我很想发泄完一切的不满。但我几乎忘了该如何积极地发泄。

真的，就这样，我丢下了statistics。

腻了。淡了。变了。累了。

虽然失望、虽然难过、虽然无助。

但我会相信，之后会更好。

感谢身边总是有些动听的歌曲

让我沉淀下来。

剪发

有人说，头发似烦恼丝。这是否代表着头发越多、越长，就意味着烦恼越多、越长久？

两年前，我剪短了头发。仿佛剪断了以往的烦恼，一刀两断似的。

是我嫌烦恼不够多吗？

我又留长了头发。

但上天仿佛疼惜着我，总是要在头发留得有些长度时，一段一段地，把它剪得一刀两断。

留了大半年的头发，好像功亏一篑。

不怕，它只是短了些许。

与以往相比，还是长了。

或许我就是自寻烦恼，把头钻去烦恼丝去。

其实一切的都只是，

只要自己喜欢，就好。

Tetris Yo~

Times always fly, with or without conscious. I'm glad that I've pass through these "harsh time". I put a quotation mark at the word because it seems not really harsh, it is just a hyperbole to exaggerate how I feel/view the time this week. In fact, it is a hard time, but not really hard though.. sounds contradict.. But, seriously, this midterm has brought me to the top of the hill, and let me fall on the slope.. (sweat)

Exams is always the 'harsh time' for students like me; 'relax time' for teachers. However, it is always the 'bad' time for teachers after the exam; and 'best time' for the students. It is just a circular role. That's why, it is quite fair for everyone, at least in this statement. =)

I don't like compare. But comparison is one way to check whether you are right or wrong after the test.

The "pek cek" moment is that when you found out your answers or steps is different from others! and what you tend to say is: "What's wrong WEIH!", "Ya MEH?", "You sure AR?" and etc with the "AR, MEH, LOR" at the end of the sentence. It sounds funny and the moment seems familiar to me in this exam. It happened on the last day of my exam! and It almost spoil my mood and distract my emotional! 

Other than the "pek cek" moment, it turns to sad moment,which that when you found that everyone can do the questions but not you. I think it is the most down moment as well. It hurts you, or makes you keep blaming on yourself. You know you cannot do anything about that, but you will still feeling down. Is our emotion being influence so easily by the circumstances? I doubt. You might say no, even myself. But when you really come across that kind of situation, what do you react? Will it become more comfort when your peers tell you that they don't know how to solve the questions too? 

Sadness will not always follow anyone. There must be always a change of role of our emotion and feeling. Yea, so, the happiest moment for students is that everyone is free from the exam, and start planning what to do or where to go to shopping and celebrate. 

There is always a "harsh time" in our life. Everyone has to face it and tackle it. Without any solution, the matter won't be able to solve, and it will keep following you. It will make you feel more stressful when you procrastinate. So, I'm happy that I've go through this "harsh time" ( for this moment I think it is a 'quite' "harsh"). Finally, I'm able to enjoy the happy moment, which is go crazy with tetris.

.. Even though, you might not playing with it, anymore. ..

给我一点时间

我知道我脱离了这里有一段时间，但我没有忘记这个让我挥洒自如的平台。

我有跟多话要说，我有很多事情要分享。
我有无数的词汇，等待着时机掀开。
我有太多的诱惑，使我不断摸索。

虽然我沉默，但我没有离开过。

因为我知道，这是…
这是我的。
都是我的。

给我一点时间，就一点时间。
我会将这里的一切，再次填满。
我会，
我一定会。


因为我有太多，

太多未解的事。

——警囍讯——

一直想着要写一写他们俩，把他们也记录在我部落格里。拖了很久，几乎忘了。直到我看见故事书中间夹的一张卡片。嗯，又是一张明信片。不，应该说，它是警囍讯。是一个关于一对恋人的故事、祝福。<3 nbsp="nbsp">

——看见你们，我很感动。甚至感觉幸福。——

那天下午，在出门时，突然走到信箱前。突然看见了一张‘卡’。我很快的把手伸进去把卡片拿了出来。
感谢May子&Ken的体贴。

——因为你们，再次让幸福传到这片土地的各个角落。——

曾经上过May子两堂课；听过她现场主持一次；一次outdoor节目；早上几乎都听到她做节目。
我记得有谁说过，主持嘛…我们要学习的对象是May子，因为她很会自high。明明不好笑的，她自己会很容易的笑起来，也使到整个场面笑起来。简单来说，May子 = 笑 XD
也因为这样的说法，我记得汶静在面试时的表格是这样写的:
最喜欢的DJ：May子
原因： 因为她会自High

结果，我又笑了。 =D

虽然我不懂你们俩，但是你们都是我应该学习的对象。你们那么久的恋情，加上实实在在的距离，还走到这一步。在旁的我觉得真的很不容易。当你在你和你父亲的访问节目中，我甚至很讶异你几乎每个星期都会到新加坡一趟。觉得那以成了清茶淡饭。

——仰慕你的坚持和耐力。当然还有那一份爱。——

我想这是爱的魔力。在他们身上，距离，不是一个使到感情变淡的因素；反而增进了彼此的思念与珍惜。

愿你们都幸福快乐的之余，感谢你们，让我感动了那份珍贵的爱。 你们实在太大爱了！

谢谢你们。祝福你们。

幸福要自保，结婚要趁早！ XD 

每一件事，都会有结束；每一天，都是新的开始。

你在乎的是过程、开始？还是结果？好像很少人会提到开始。很多人都太注重成绩。换句话说，每当我们做的一件事，或是朝去的目标，都是因为我们想要它的结果，它的成绩。
所以，当一件事情接近尾声的时候，很多人都会忽略了是怎么开始的。
有时候我们把重心放到太后端，往往我们会达不到，因为，太远了。

两个星期的假期，我过得愉快。我希望到时回宿舍的时候，不会再哭。但我想，就算哭，那也习惯了。若扶持，谁能？

两个星期内除了去第七届海外华文书市是和朋友一起的，我想其他时间我都在家里。或许我还没有准备出去闯的冲动。我只知道，我要很珍惜家一的切。

和中学朋友一起，我很开心。我们没有每一个时刻都在一起，但是见面时还是有话题。

当时的我们都以很自在，以很放松的心情走路；所以每踏一步路都很轻，没有负担。因此，一天的书展，已足够填满过去的疲累。而且，心里还满满的。

满满的快乐；
满满的欢笑；
满满的能量；
还有，
满满的，惊喜。

当然少不了那——满满的脚痛。

满满的，一切都满满的。
希望这些正面的满满，可以支撑我接下来的学期。

谢谢我的朋友们，给我那么多的满满。=)

=P

0078的——明信片

我把1分钟的录音寄了给你。原因是因为我很想谢谢你。我不知道你有没有真的放在心上，但一直以来我很努力的想要感谢你一直的好。
我答应你，
我不会只记得你一时的好，我会记牢，你一直以来的好。

长大以后，我越来越不敢过于要求别人做我想要的，却又做不到事，因为我觉得会麻烦他人。我怕麻烦人家，毕竟人家没有义务要帮我。也因为如此，我只要求了你帮我买书。虽然我很想很想要到签名，甚至出席现场，但是是我自己无法出席，而且还放朋友飞机。所以我还是收嘴了。

不懂为什么，到最后我还是跟你说了签书会的详情——地点，时间，谁，做什么。而且，说了我想要签名。但是我依然很担心我这样是否很过分。但是你二话不说，就哈哈笑地给我回答说，你知道了。因为你已经看过了节目表。我真的很惊讶，但是我并没有抱太大的期望，因为排队不是每个人都要的。

我知道你总会尽你所能，所以我很放心的缺席了当天的签书会。我甚至忘了看时间，直到我收到一封来自你信息。你说，你搞定好了。而且有个礼物给我。我嘴角上扬，开心得对着电话笑起来。

我还是问了是否多人，“要排队排很久吗？”之类的问题。如果很多人，我会很内疚得要你付出你的时间。但是你没回答，回答的都是不重要的问题。【囧】

后来想起你说的礼物。礼物？我想是明信片。谢谢你，你一定是首100位。

我很放心的过了星期一。隔天看到你，我很惊讶的，看见你拿出来的不只是书和明星片。真的，我完全在状态以外。

过后，我就笑笑的说再见。（PS,信息上说的都是真的。）

我想说的，不是只是谢谢的谢谢。而是很谢谢你总是那么用心。在你听到录音之前，我FB信息他说，我很感谢他的细心，让我感受到了朋友的用心。我告诉他收到这份惊喜的喜悦和感动。只是，他没有念出。

忍耐若是为了理想，就不是委屈——0078
0078:: 我希望，你排队，真的不委屈。 =P
我从来不知道你有这样的运气。以后有机会，请沾点给我。 =P 
(我又麻烦你了)。 =P

我要问，为什么写不是华文名？=P

我觉得它应该归你 =/

我答应你，

我不会只是记得你一时的好，

我会记牢，你一直的好。=P

我还是很罗嗦了 >.<''

我喜欢你

I'm not good in language. I dont have much talent in language learning. I think, maybe, my basic in both Malay, English and Mandarin is not stable and solid enough. and as I grow, I didnt spend much time in polishing my language.

I always admire those who can speak any language fluently and write attractively because I couldn't. and those people are always around me.  Many of them suggested me to be hardworking to read and be brave to speak out, and they guarantee this steps will slowly help me to improve any language.

I have spent much time listen to my BM teacher's instruction and followed what she said. In order to score, I try my best in not only reading, but also memorize those essay sentence by sentence. I still can remember what I wrote in my BM spm paper was those what I've memorized for months. I mixed everything together to become a complete essay. I was really proud of my teacher at the moment when I got my SPM result. and now, still, I'm proud of her.

I've used to speak in Mandarin since I was young. It is my mother tongue. I counldn't remember I can speak English when I was in kindergarten even though my parents said that I spoke in English very well that time. Mainly, I speak Mandarin with my family and friends.

But now, it has slightly being changed. Every subjects in our syllabus is in English, my surrounding always revolve around English language. I also met difficulties as I felt a surge of pressure acting on me when I was attending her class. I'd heard about the people talking about how strict is her during her class and etc. I'm really afraid of doing her exercise and I mind her wording during her lecture. Seriously, I'm really afraid of her.

When it comes to week 12, I think I was having presentation about unemployment. I prepared it for many times to avoid making errors and try to get marks from her. I try to present confidently and look at her calmly. My happiness gained slowly when I saw her smiled and nodded. I smiled.

When week 13, Friday, we dont have much work to do. We looked at our key concept II, and do some simple exercise. She let us go earlier, I think. and I remember, before that, she said something and required to take picture together. I felt that her character has been changed in my heart. Although she is strict, but I think I like her at the end of semester. Even, I felt abit sad when I walked out the class and said, thank you miss.

伦敦奥运

我没有想过8月的第一个帖子写的是“伦敦奥运”。不过也对，世事难料。如果事情都是自己预料之内，没有突发的，那可能衬不上是人生。

我错过了奥运的开幕典礼直播，看的都是重播。但是我没有很用心的看，只记得经典的是豆豆先生，Mr.Bean。多久没有看过Rowan Atkinson的作品了，我不知道。虽然他白发多了，皱纹也多了，但他搞笑风趣再次在舞台上展现了风采，沾了大众的欢呼和掌声。透过电视视屏，还看见后面的观众拿起手机还是相机似的忙着把镜头朝向他。这就是一个成功演员的魅力。

与2008年北京奥运相比，我对2012的奥运并没有什么关注。但伦敦奥运发生的打假球我还是有丁点关注的。毕竟网上电台电视都再隔天报道。自己也在网上看了“假球比赛”。看了不知道是好笑、好气还是好闷。很多人对此也给了很多的评论。有人说球员缺乏体育精神；也有人说不应该把剑指向球员。输赢在一场比赛固然是每个参赛者追求的目标，但是把目标似为固然就会扭曲了追求的意义；然而，顺从命令，是对是错？那有如何判断？

另外伦敦奥运的经典就在于我们的拿督李宗伟和中国的林丹的对决。那一场比赛，我和家人都守在电视机前。虽然我不会打羽球，但是对于两个高手的对决，再怎么不会打球，看球赛的我都感受到刺激快感。和2008北京奥运比较，今年，拿督李宗伟的水准更上一层。双反都把每一粒球都视珍贵。可惜的，虽然最后败给了林丹，但是我们还是为他骄傲了。

继羽球风波，接下来的焦点都放到了10米跳水项目。因为大马代表女子组代表，潘德莉拉再次为我国争光，在本届奥运摘下了第2枚奖牌。也因为这年轻女孩，跳水项目在大马掀起了风潮。但更重要的是，我国的Jalur Gemilang再次展现的颁奖典礼上，让许多人热血热泪。因为始终，大马运动员在今年的奥运会上表现极佳，创下高峰。 

不管是金、银还是铜牌，体育运动本体是为了锻炼身体或是纯属兴趣。当它演变成一种比赛，一种压力的时候，运动员背负不在是兴趣和身心，而是更重大的责任和压力。但我相信，大马的运动员无论在生理和心理上都能达到一个平衡点。再次为所有运动员欢呼喝彩。 

转眼，一个小时后就是闭幕典礼。可惜，感叹，时间总是冲冲流去。反之，庆幸，欣慰，精彩的画面，都烙印在脑海里。

sticky notes

I used to add a "sticky note" on the desktop whenever there is something important or I tend to forget such as exam, assignment due date, special event and etc.  The most sticky notes that I "stick" on it is about 5, which is all about the coming exams and quiz; another 3 is about assignment, i think.

Everytimes, as time passes, the date getting closer and closer to the date written on the colourful "sticky note", I become more and more worry and anxious.  I would feel tension and pressure are acting on me, but I would wish it pass as fast as possible so I can delete the colourful thing on the desktop.  Whenever I deleted it, I feel like I'm relief, go through a war and pass through a hardship (even though it is not really a hardship) *just hyperbole.

It is really rare to make the sticky note to be deleted and disappear because no matter how much I delete, I will create another new again.  It is just like hydrologic cycle, which we called as water cycle when we learnt since we were young.  Everything cycle and recycle again.

This is a part of life that I'm having now.

Bear with it.

I'll get used to it. =)

第一次…我

碰巧在即将深夜的夜晚里想起光亮的“第一次”，所以把七月份的第一个文章、2012年的下半年的开始称为“第一次…我”。 我一直有很多事想写下，记录下来，但是偏偏进入了户口后却没有半点汹涌的浪潮涌上心头。要么就是当眼前的荧幕由蓝转黑，躺在舒服的床上后，才有海浪涌上脑海的意识。

为什么突然想起光亮的“第一次”就把题目题为“第一次…我”？

今天是大姐生日，却是我在近年里“第一次”没有和她在家庆祝的一次。感觉有点可惜，有点感叹。昨天在家的我，她却偏偏不切蛋糕，等到我今天回宿舍时才切。虽然透过skype唱生日快乐，看着她吹蜡烛切蛋糕，心里还是觉得可惜我不在，但却有着那一丁点暖暖的~

我知道大姐是疼我的。一直都是。虽然她时不时骂我，偶尔刺激我的愤怒，但她都是疼惜我的。至少我感觉到姐姐的疼爱。其实我觉得很幸福，有着很疼爱我的每一个人。

最近的生活有点像不知所措，心情有点像天气一样时晴时雨。我完成的我今年来“第一次”那么认真的论文。明天就是交成果的时候了。但是我却担心着。我花了不少时间、心情、耐力、努力去完成着一份值25%的论文。我跟它，不，是老师，因为批改的是老师。它不是我的敌人，但我还是跟它拼得三更半夜的…中间的欢乐是无价的；但当中的挫折和成败也是值得自我检讨的。

我坦诚经过这一个“第一次”，我学到了真的很多很多。我用尽自己的认真和耐心；我花尽空余的时间和睡眠，我真的希望这一次能够顺顺利利。因为我现在心中对明天到来的挣扎和心情实在无法释怀。我可惜看到眼前的错误却无法纠正；我内疚花了一大叠纸张对地球的伤害；我害怕明天论文换成绩的那一刻；我，不想面对。

但是在怎么都好，秒针滴一生声，12点。
我依旧无法改变。
时间会走，该到的都会来临。

“第一次”，我要好好面对眼前的考验。

脆弱

你有没有很脆弱？

 当我把你从桌上往下丢 

 你破碎声一响 

 我知道 

 你也和我一样脆弱 

 when it drops at a high speed

. . . 

Protected.

1.
I was having memorable time with my family last weekend. It is not only memorable, but unforgettable, I think. We went to Pavillion for dinner. Purposely went there to taste Madam Kwan's restaurant. I was getting excited when dad said YES to have dinner at Madam Kwan's restaurant. The main point wasn't be having delicious food there, but having a time with my family outside. and also, tasting an unusual food at a restaurant where I seldom go. It sounds very fresh and attracted me.

2.
I was really happy last Saturday. Although it seems normal, but the happiness from heart is indescribable. My sis with mum and I went to Jusco Selantan which we familiar with. I went there for no purpose. Just because of sis and mum want to go then I just followed. I drove and I parked the car successfully as my driving skill is really bad especially parking >.<'' I told my sister whatever I want when i saw, and ask my sis for paying. *evil* Of course she don't really care and take it serious. She has understand my style and used to it. =P I took a packet of steamed bread when I saw it readily and my sis was shocked as I didn't ask for permission and never bother weather they will pay for me or not.

I'm very happy after they bought me so many things. Although it is just some food, but I felt happy. I'm always protected by my family and I know that they do care me. They do buy the best thing for me, try to fulfill my desire. Although there are some quarrel between my sis and I ; although, sometimes, I get scold by my parents ; although, there are some unsatisfied matter to them. But there is just a moment, maybe a few minutes or seconds. Because I've been always fond of them. =)

Now, slowly, I understand, why my friend say I couldn't understand how a eldest felt when parents put close attention to the younger or youngest. I understand his thought, but couldn't say anything. But I'm glad that he is still care and love her sister, and being proud to tell me that he is already being well-known by others that he loves his sister much.
If you do so, I'm proud of you too =)

No matter which position are you in your family, be grateful as you are one of the members in the family. Not the youngest should be protected, but also protect among each others. Everyone has one's lineage, which no one can change it. =)

Say "I Love You" when necessary ;

and Say "Sorry" to resolve ;

Hug tightly to show warmth ;

Take action to show concern ;

Do the best for them, to create happiness

and Working towards harmony, in your family. 

事

Photo taken from finerminds
Article, [15 things you should give up to be happy].

我忘了从什么时候开始，我没有诉心事的对象。 凡事第一个心里的想法come into mind的时候都是自己先process，再用文字书写在这里。 感觉上，我很久已经摆脱很多人面对的emo，脱离了。 因为我连自己上一次有心事是什么时候我都忘了。 我记得，自从上了中四，我就告诉自己我要很勇敢地摆脱一切不愉快的事，只要很专心的上课，听课，来面对考试。

我做到。 而且我觉得这样没有什么不好。或许我把自己放得太中心，总是感觉不到问题的存在。所以我很冲忙。 不管是对课外活动也好，团体也好，甚至是朋友，我都把自己的课业放很高。 所以我很常skip团队的masuk baris，我不常做活动，也不常参与。 （我坦诚自己没有很负责任。）我可以在班上一个人静静地做功课也不理会辜亿君胡乱的捣乱。 我也坦诚我没有很努力，不过我享受自我。

或许是这样的原因吧，我很自己。 真的很自己。 时间久了，就真的很自己。

所以我来去冲忙，甚至没有任何交代。 我选择自己想的路。又是因为我“很自己”。 后来朋友问我为什么那么突然的做决定，我也没有很诚实地说出原因。 因为它再也不是一个值得谈的话题。 所以我迎笑而过。

直到现在，我得到我自己所想的了。 然后渐渐地，我多么希望回到那我不以为然的从前，坐在教室里听课、跟同学吹很多很多水、得空就提早下课……

五月了，朋友们都纷纷上课去了。 最近的谈话闲聊当中，感觉大家散去了。 都往自己所想的路奔去了。 但是难免不了还有有那一群群的伙儿一起上课着。 有时我很羡慕，但是当我回想起当初为什么这么做的时候，嗯，我就不想再想了。 因为那是我已经决定了的。

但是又可是，每当朋友告诉我说等下我去lab，我修读XXX等关于3科科学的时候，我真的很羡慕。 真的很羡慕。 [你知道吗？能够读bio, chemi和physic是一件很幸福的事。] 所以我会想，为什么我在这边？ 可是我知道，修读bio, chemi 和physic不是很难的难。 是我无法兼顾的难。 虽然我很想触碰它，但是我知道自己的极限。 虽然我分不清自己喜欢的是理科还是自己偏向文科。 但是我可以知道的是，我能力所在。

就好像我觉得面对 P 比面对 E 来的容易的意思。 所以，我还是选择了P。

以后不管漂流到哪里

总要带上过去那些痕迹

那是一种很自己   属于自己的心﹎

以后不管去到哪里

一旦发觉自己需要勇气

触碰那些很自己   最初的那颗真心﹎

《很自己》

收入在伍家辉最新专辑《你爱我吗？》

520被看待的日子

我不知道，原来在这个5月20号的日子里是那么特别的事。或许我没有发现过、注意这个日期——520，也仅代表着“我爱你”的意思。

我视乎真的没有注视过这个日子。直到我的朋友在19号时问我：“明天你怎样过？没人约吗？” 我很好奇，不是又一个星期天吗？没人约，就在家的咯。

他讲了一堆东西，然后给我看短短的字句，说什么在那天告白的。最hurt的是我看到那段话写着，到凌晨时互相发信息告诉对方我们分手吧。 囧囧囧

我把我那个觉得hurt的想法告诉那个朋友，他尽然说，50% 和50% 嘛… 更加囧

你把它看成什么？你把他，又看成什么？

我不想要50%和50%， 所以我问我朋友，为何不直接找100%？我要的，也是100%。

真的很真的想学小Nick写 ： 囧

Simple talk about my teachers

I almost forget today is Teachers day until one of my friend remind me today is his day. It makes me think of few of my teachers in my schools.

I think I remember every teacher who taught me in primary school since I'm monitor in the class from standard 1 to standard 6. 6 years, I walked into staff room like going in and out of my house, do whatever i want. =P Yea, like a boss. Haha! But I have long time never meet them since I didnt back to primary school for at least 3 years. I miss them, particular one, always.

My secondary schools's teachers part:
Although I felt that memory about friendship is more than relationship with teachers,(maybe I miss my friends so much recently) but I still remember those teachers who taught me before. Maybe I'm not good in academic and curriculum, I might playful, not paying attention or just a very normal students in class. Teachers wont remember me. But I'm really appreciate that I met so many good teachers in my life.

I'm so appreciate because being taught by good teachers. I'm so grateful to meet kind and understanding teachers in my life. They make me get improve in my academic, they make me become a better person and make me seek for a better future.

Lecturer part:
You know what, I have never be laughing from the beginning of the class until the end of the class during maths class, some more is calculus. For me, I thought that "maths" class should be very serious and everyone should be concentrate. But now.. LoL.
I met a caring lecturer here. She is so good until now she will ask for my recent life and academic. She is always ready for us to ask any questions and problems.
A lecturer taught us dancing in leadership camp. I like the dance because the song is very cute and funny. It sounds like " ta-da-ra-ta di-ya-di ya,ta da ra ta di ya di ya~~"

I felt that what teachers taught me were too much; and what can I give back is too less. =(
But I really appreciate.

Thank you teachers.
I will be proud, because of you. =)

世界爱笑日 World Laughter Day

不说不知道，原来5月份的第一个星期天是世界爱笑日。我和一个朋友，她跟我同名，叫TMC的越好在Times Square见面。因为我没实在是太久没见了。多次想要喝茶见个面，但是都失败。

感谢988有这一个机会让我们两个一见面就一直讲话讲话讲话，讲不停。虽然之前我们相处的时间只有仅仅的3天，之后都没有见面。但我们见面时并没有感觉生疏，就一直说话聊天，不dead air就对了。

事情不过与此，我们找了负责任Karen后，她叫我们先自由活动。我和汶静的反应直接是你看我，我看你。简称，傻掉。我们走走走、拍照、又是走走走，没事做。我看见主持DJ出现后，我们两个只站在台的后面，看他们的背影。然后就被叫去了~~

我很开心，因为Karen记得我的名字！(或者因为我click了going，她有记下名单）不过我还是很开心 =) 看着全部场面都是热闹一片，笑声传遍。还有我和汶静的话题像似河流，暖流不息。虽然很白痴的笑谈，很简单的问候，很自high的让我们联想到May子。

也虽然，我们负责做一些简单的工作，没有像其他人一样玩得很开心，但就连拿气球送给拍照的大伙们这简单的动作都逗得我们很开心，因为我和汶静一样白痴。不晓得为什么，就是开心时显示出白痴的快乐。最真的笑容。虽然我一直被拍照拒绝要小礼物，不过我和汶静也可以因为这样的话题小说一番。同时感谢May子的帮忙。所以说，这就是一个美貌并重与不停自笑的分别。 >.<

那一天，我没有很寂寞，也没有很无聊。虽然工作，但我想我们都乐在其中。至少我们笑的是单纯的笑；笑是因为看见其他人无端端地笑；笑是因为真的好笑；笑是因为缔造长达一分钟的笑声记录。

或许你觉得很废，或许你觉得很无聊。但是，问问自己，①今天的你，笑过了没？②现在的你，有多久没有开心地大笑了呢？③你的笑，是不是出自于真诚呢？

曾经读过一篇文章说，大人一天内笑的次数远远少过小孩笑的次数。长大了…面对的挑战多了；压力大了…是否仅仅是个借口？

犹如红蜻蜓的歌词一样，当烦恼愈来愈多，玻璃弹珠愈来愈少，我知道我已慢慢地长大了~但是，红色的蜻蜓真的在你成长岁月的何时消逝了吗？

你有多久，没有笑了呢？打开心房，抛开烦恼，对自己，对身边的人笑一笑，世界会变得更美妙。

每日一笑，创好心跳！

后续，

-丁汶静，我们何时，还可以见面啊？\(^o^)/ 希望我们真的还可以在见面，没有dead air。

-谢谢Karen。

嗯，保持联络。

-跳-

后来，我看到李欣怡，就在我面前买水喝 (∩_∩)   

李欣怡
（Photo taken from 988 website）

丁汶静，你的咧?

okla, 我的笑，很奇怪

Ps, 右下是May子&小潘
（在我们旁边，隔壁，却不敢靠近他们=.=''）

一件以为不会再穿，很少机会会的衣=)

我们或许一起约好； 或是巧遇。 或许， 我们都想。

5月5号出席了堂姐的女儿的婚礼。我爸那里的家庭很大，每次都会这样轰人说：“我的堂姐的女儿还大过我大姐”。嗯，够力了吧！很多时候，因为家庭太大，所以有很多亲戚都不知道怎么称呼。下午坐巴士出发到目的地大概花了3至4个小时吧。我不清楚地方的名字，应该是Kuala Pilah附近。

一路上我听着随身听，本来扭开的是电台，但收线不好，结果我转去了随机播放歌曲。那随身听是我在中一的生日礼物，是阿姨送的。已经好久没有用它，里面收藏的歌都是前几年的流行歌曲，或许是更老的经典歌曲。

随着歌曲的旋律播放，在我双耳，我享受那么近；既那么远。近是听觉上触感享受；远是每首歌曲都勾起我远远的情景。好歌不断地随机播放；熟悉的旋律我在耳边荡漾；让我好不经意地放下手上的课本，好好地享受这样的奢华。我听着歌，时而喜出望外；时而高望天空；时而眺望远方。

经过乡村小巷时，有时看见羊儿；有时看见大牛。更少不了孩子们站在门口眼睁大大地看着车子和巴士的来往。还看见了几个年长的他们，在一个自制的“菜园”里忙着。很舒服，真的很舒服。这突然让我想到，在难免碰触到压力的道路上，我们这种城市人应该往外走走看看。放下，全部放下，单纯地，走路也好、坐车也好。去到一个平时不常去的地方，放松，轻松一下。

所以我想，我的朋友们，以后，我们累了，苦了，就到一个比较远的地方去走一走，看一看。我相信，哪怕你去的是繁忙的城市像吉隆坡那样的繁华，你也会有所体验。或许我们可以约好或许我们会巧遇。

我心中，却想和你们去着…

感谢它陪伴了我那么漫长的旅途。在晚宴结束了之后，夜晚了、暗了。我还是坐在靠窗的位置，听着歌，看窗外。我，想起了一个人。

我们或许一起约好；

或是巧遇。

或许，

我们都想。

Mesej dari Cikgu; Mesej kepada Cikgu

I went to school today. Everything remain the same, the scenery, the way that I walk to lobby once I stepped into school. The only different is the cloths and the shoes that I wore is not prefect uniform and black shoes anymore.

After I have done everything, the moment, when I push the office door, surprisingly, I saw someone. We greet each other. and I smile because I'm happy to meet her. I'm most grateful to her sacrifice.

I remember the story about . I also remember the every monday after school. I remember how she teaches us to right and . 

I fall asleep during her class sometimes. Although she knew everyone is sleepy and not paying attention during the lesson, but, she still trying hard to do her best and wake our my mind up by telling us some meaningful stories that I mentioned just now and some techniques to answer the question during exam.

When SPM is around the corner, I'm still worry about my BM. I want to score this subject but I dont think I can. I know my BM is not good and I'm not putting effort on it also. Few months before SPM, I'm still hanging here and feeling happy go lucky. But when it is really near to the corner, I look to the problems seriously. I tried my best and followed her instruction, but, sometimes, I'm lazy.

I read , highlight new vocabularies and useful sentences. Even, I memorized the common essays and some essays that my friends and I spot for trials and SPM. During SPM, I threw out everything that I'd memorized. But I felt that I didnt do best in both Paper 1 & Paper 2 during SPM. I'm so sorry to her. I said to myself in my heart. 

and Sometimes, she forced us to read the essay. She will by go through some passages with us in the class instead of letting us to write an essay ourselves without knowing how to start the introduction and ending. She pointed out our mistakes by going through one by one like kindergarten when we are writing essay in the class.

She asked us to do "Karangan Spontan" instead of writing to make sure every students are active during the lesson but not sleeping and "Ponteng". She asked us to do presentation about "Komsas" ourselves. We always have sharing sections during her class and she is very generous and open-minded even when we say some sensitive issues she will talk about it too with her point of view. 

She said she knew our level of Malay language. Everyone of us. Every students in the class.

I saw how serious is she during the lesson; I saw her responsibility towards her jobs.
No doubt, she is a good teacher.

I'm really proud for being taught by her for 2 years.

But, she told me that today is her last day in Yu Hua.
"WHAT? WHY?!",  I asked her immediately.

She moves to another school in Bangi. I know, it is good for her because near her house.

I'm sad; but I'm proud.

"All the best, cikgu.", I end the conversation.

Terima kasih atas jasa dan sumbangan bukti cikgu. Saya tak tahu bagaimana pulangkan balik jasa cikgu dan masa yang anda korban untuk kami. Walaupun I bercakap and menulis dalam Cina and Inggeris lebih berbanding dengan bahasa, tapi saya tak akan lupa jasa and nilai-nilai yang anda ajar dalam kelas dan kepentingan bahasa di Malaysia. Ribuan terima kasih kepada Cikgu yang saya sayangi dan kasihi. =)

again, I'm proud for being taught by her. and so, I hope there are more students get these advantages and be proud also after being taught by her.

Students should always be proud when they meet a good teacher. 

and always, 

appreciate.

428 bersih 3.0 大集会

为了要求选举改革，从上次的709引申到今天的428静坐大集会 (净选盟 3.0）。 这次的Bersih 3.0 既联合了709的改革选举的后续和关丹的莱纳斯（Lynas）事件。同样的时间，不同的地点，大马人民聚集参与这项大集会。昨天在面书上看见大家都在share说，在吉隆坡各大地区的人数逐渐增加。看起来这次的集会果然不简单。

睡觉醒来，一打开面书都看到出席Bersih 3.0的朋友报告在现场的状况和消息。今天的面书总是活跃于净选盟的消息。看见许多朋友都有出席，当然还有包括很多大马的艺人。应该好好表扬这些勇于出席净选盟大集会的人民。他们都非常地勇敢表达出自己的心声和对大马的政治态度。

净选盟之前已经表明立场8大求诉；但政府却没有达到。人民反对莱纳斯在大马的运作；但是工程继续。大家都说政府吃钱；但我看到的是政府没有真正去聆听人民的心。很简单的道理，那要怎样取得人民的选票？难道真要要让人民相信你真的吃钱。钱真的重要过人民素质吗？不，或许你真的没有素质。

据朋友还有许多网友的理清后，他们都说集会的一开始是非常顺利的。直到净选盟的主席安美嘉，Ambiga说集会已达到目的，宣布集会解散后，事情一切由这一刻开始。

不知怎么搞的，人民冲向独立广场，Dataran Merdeka。又那么突然，警方发射催泪弹。直到电台新闻报道听见数名参与者已被逮捕、足部轻快铁站开始暂停行驶。一连串的事件联合起来，我只有在想，那里的情况怎么了？为什么会这样？

直到晚上，一幕幕的影片，一句句痛心的状态，我只要说，很难过。

不管怎样

明明说好这是一场静坐大集会，但却招来了悲剧的收场。感觉非常痛心；既很遗憾。

到底集会成功了吗？都不再是重点。

只想说：
警方不应该发射垂泪弹及水炮驱散人民、更不应该攻击殴打人民。更更不应该使用恶行来成功逮捕集会者。
政府不应该这样打压人民。
人民有权表达立场，但是应该要有纪律以显示人民素质。

因为谁也不想看到这样的收场。

一个有纪律、言论自由、多元及民主的社会，不会是这样。
一个有纪律、言论自由、多元及民主的社会，不会是这样。
一个有纪律、言论自由、多元及民主的社会，不会是这样。

政治社会 . . .
心淡了~

不一

奇怪的夜晚

在接近凌晨一点，

我听着随电台播放的歌曲

一首接一首

奇怪的是，

无论歌曲怎么动听；

旋律如何熟悉

就是无法投入

因为脑里想的

都是千里之外   的思绪

直到隔天早上，

才发现

一整夜，

我随着电台一歌曲

睡了。

在两者不一的情况下

我睡了。

Rain

Finally it rains after a few days of hot weather

It doesn't rain heavily outside

Just a gentle rain

It makes the surrounding moist

Sounds a bit gloomy

A bit gray

and I could heard some soft thunders from far away

Slowly,

it stops

Left only thunder sound

In a dark night

Far away

感受在，如果你还觉得不幸福...

你有没有觉得

有没有发觉

有没有发现

有没有想过

有时候，

静静看着长长的数学题

一个人解开看似复杂的数学题

也是一种幸福

也是一种乐趣

因为至少，

你有健康，有吃穿住，

没有经历战争、监狱、饥荒、酷刑

人生也不是如此吗？

感受在

如果你还觉得不幸福...

109，做一个有责任的人

时间说快不快，傻傻的，冒冒然地，第一学期就这样的结束了。我很开心，也很兴奋。同时却感叹时间就这样流失了。所谓的“这样”，或许当中我没有好好把握、或许我没有好好利用时间、或许我没有把每一天活得很灿烂，或许。明知道时间不会倒流，明知道凡事都要把握当下。但总是觉得不对，不够好。可以说我有自知之明，也可以说我鸡蛋里挑骨头。

15个星期里，拿了5个科目。5个科目分别都让我学习到了不同的知识和器材；见识了大学与中小学的分别；遇见不同的人事物。我站在这一刻的步伐，回顾15星期前所走过的路；再眺望眼前的路。有时我会很迷茫，因为不知道我自己做的选择对不对，走的路会不会后悔。因为我需要付一切责任，未来没有人会帮我挡，一切靠自己，所以我有点紧张。（但是感谢家汶唤醒了我，给了我一个很重要的提醒。）

就算再给我选择，我依然会选择这里。我觉得，要做什么事情，尤其关于到自己的，都是时候自己选择，懂得去分辨和辨识哪一个是自己要的，自己能的，自己会的。到底哪一个决定才是对自己既对他人也好的方案。最终要记牢的事情是，自己要对自己做的负责任。做个勇敢，有责任感的人。

就这样过去了。

2012年的第109天，你，做过了什么？选了什么？

剩下的257天，你怎么走？

【We are not naughty】

I've been here for 14 weeks, nearly 15 weeks now. Basically I'm going to finish my 1st semester already after few days more. Although 14 weeks is very short, but I'd learnt lots of things and experiences in both academic and relationship.

In these 3 months, I met lots of things, and it reflects a lot to myself. I'm appreciate because I'm here; I can get what I want and what I pursue. What problems that I met were minimize or even zero compare to others. 

We watch movie last week. . Three of us. We has been long time never watch movie in cinema together. Maybe few years ago we did. But the feeling between now and last time are different, the scenes are different, the atmosphere is also different. We've grown up; our life go on; we think differently.

Time always make things change easily and unconsciously. We are going to walk into our own path way, facing different future with different people. Although we are selfish. We wish we can always together, face problems together, do everything together, just maintain whatever things we had and we did. But we cannot expect the other follow our own way and step. 

When the movie go to climax, I look at them, and I smile. Because we of us already grown up. We can walk ourselves. and in the deep of heart, we know we appreciate each others. We know each others. Although I kept quiet. Because < We are good friends >.

Nervous makes mistake

Had lots of quiz last week. At the same time, a lot of assignments and presentations to be prepare. It makes me can't breath. Everyday I am rushing, fighting with time. I told myself to do my best in everything to make no regret. We, as human, always make mistakes easily. Basically, making mistakes is not a big deal as if you know what mistake you did and avoid to repeat the same thing.

BUT, i made a big mistake. I stood on the stage, in front of everyone, i spoke out my opinions, my standpoints and arguments during competition; i stood on the stage every Monday to lead the students to read Rukun Negara. I enjoyed it., therefore I'm not afraid.  I was trained, and I'd overcome the fear that lots of people might face which is nervous. However...

BUT today, I made a mistake that I shouldn't make! I am very nervous during my math quiz. In result, I cannot prove the equation, I cannot complete solve it. and I made careless mistake! I can compromise, if I do not know how to do the question. But, in fact, the question is easy for me and I shouldn't make mistake on it. Although I haven get my paper back, but I'm disappointing.

I fail myself, because of nervous. Nervous makes mistakes!

But, I tried to make everything positive and I told myself not to get tension easily whenever and whatever I would face in future. There are still a lot of challenges in front of me. Likewise, after taking the SPM result, I never expect to get this kind of result and I really satisfy with it. But, no matter how happy am I, my life still have to go on. It is a process in life. After enjoying, we still have to move forward. Conversely, after sadness, we also have to look further and wider for better life. There is a negative; and here come, with positive =)

"Positive thinking will let you do everything better

than negative thinking will"

Zig Ziglar

Earth Hour 2012

Do you switch off your light on 31st of March at 8.30 to 9.30? Do you aware of this simple act might makes a huge impact on our Earth? The global issues happened now, particularly in regard to
overuse of non-renewable resources, and resultant a lot of pollution. However, there are still many people do not know how big is the impact that we, our grand children are going to face after years later. We will never know what will happen tomorrow, but do you realize that, your action today may affect your tomorrow?

We are urged to switch off our light for one hour, but in deep, it is not just about turn off light only on 31st of March every year. It is a campaign that to send out a message to raise up our awareness of that climate change in our Earth now!

People, save our Earth, start from now. To make our planet better in future, for ourselves and also our children.

Earth hour, I Will If You Will

熄灯一小时，回到最原始 =)

Sound doesn't seem bad

The result is coming out tomorrow. Everyone is getting nervous and nervous-ier.. Some say that they could't sleep; some say that they are afraid. Same here. But im clammier now. Since my heartbeat didnt increases as the time passes through..

I saw that:
My friends purposely go back to their high school to get their SPM result. It takes about 3 hours from KL to Ipoh and etc. Many are skipping class for taking result also. Everyone seems very excited and nervous. and I would say, all the best. Look forward, no matter what's your result.

I did not predict anything, and in sincere, i have no confident.
Yet, Thanks to those who text me and clam me down in the sense of giving support and encouragement.

I cant promise anything.
But, thank you.

Always look at the brighter side. Think positive, act positive and have positive attitude. It will bring more light to your life. Shaping your life with happiness and successful. At least no dull. =)